Three Questions To Improve Relationships
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
Posted by: Dr. Alan Zimmerman
Zimmerman's TUESDAY TIP:
people enter our lives and leave almost instantly; others stay and forge such
an impression on our heart and soul, we are changed forever."
Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:
The research on Emotional Intelligence is irrefutable. The skills of Social
Awareness and Relationship Management will have a bigger impact on your
personal happiness and professional success than almost any other skills you
will ever learn. And yet the average person is taught
more about planning a wedding than making a marriage last, and the average
professional is given more product knowledge than people skills. It's
So what can you do to improve your relationships?
Have fun, but don't joke around when you've got serious relationship problems.
Of course have fun. Every good and healthy relationship on and off the
job has an element of fun. It SHOULD be fun to work with or live with the
other people in your life.
And you can find examples of fun or playful teasing everywhere. For
instance, I found these newspaper headlines referring to various relationships
... all having a bit of fun with the way they worded the headlines.
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger
- Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Off
Significantly After Age 25
- Scientists Plan Mission To Probe Uranus
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- One Armed Man Applauds the Kindness of
- Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
- Woman Gets Shot on Lottery Show
the other hand, if you've got some relationship problems, that's NOT the time
to be joking about it. The comedian Rodney Dangerfield made his living by talking
about the fact he never got any respect from anyone. He said, "When
I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father,
"I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled
through." Later, when he was married, he said, "My wife made me
join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday." Even his dog felt that
way. As Dangerfield put it, "With my dog I don't get no respect. He
keeps barking at the front door. He doesn't want to go out. He wants me to
When you've got some relationship areas that need improvement, that's one of
the times you
should be using the Brave Question technique ... which I've
written about on several occasions. It has the power to transform your
relationships. You can find out more about this technique in my book, "The Brave Question
You see ... nobody
has a perfect relationship. There's always room for improvement.
That's why I devote the entire second day of my "Journey to the
Extraordinary" program to mastering the people skills that have proven to
work with coworkers, teammates, colleagues, customers and even family
members. As Ken March, a Director at Bain Capital,
recommends, you take the class saying, "Whether you are building self-esteem or improving your
professional or personal relationships, Dr. Zimmerman provided a superb class
that will take you from ordinary to extraordinary. The two days were lots of
fun, very enlightening, and powerfully effective."
The next off-site offering of the "Journey" will be May 1-2, 2014 in
Dallas. There are only a few seats left. Click here to register.
The second thing you should be doing to improve your relationships is...
Don't confuse the "important" people in THE world with the
"relevant" people in YOUR life.
If you're not sure of the difference, please take a moment to take this quiz.
- Name the five wealthiest
people in the world.
- Name the last five Pulitzer
- Name the last five winners of
the Miss America Contest.
- Name the last five people who
have won the Nobel Prize.
- Name the last six Academy
Award winners for best actor and best actress.
- Name the last ten World
did you do? The point is "none of us remember the headliners of yesterday"
even though these people are/were the best in their fields and some of the most
"important" people in THE world. But the applause dies. Awards
tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one.
- List four teachers who made a
positive difference in your journey through school.
- Name three friends who have
helped you through a difficult time.
- Name five people who have
taught you something worthwhile.
- List five people who have
made or make you feel appreciated and special.
- List five people you enjoy
spending time with.
The lesson is simple but critical. The people who make a difference in YOUR life are
not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.
the ones that CARE.
As you pursue relationships or build relationships on and off the job, don't be
blinded by the glitz of the "important" people. Focus your
energies of the "relevant" people that make life worth living.
Ask the three BIG questions.
Business mogul Warren Buffet is one of the best-known and most successful
investors in the world today. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, has grown
from a few private clients with modest holdings to a multibillion-dollar
enterprise. Mr. Buffet is famous for careful analysis and for investing
in long-term opportunities. He spends considerable time meeting key
people in the organization, getting to know how they run their business, and
how they treat their staff, suppliers, and clients.
When his analysis is completed, Buffet asks himself three questions concerning
the key people: "Do I like them? Do I trust them? Do I respect
them?" If any one of the questions results in a
"No," the deal is off. It doesn't matter how good the numbers
looks or the potential for growth.
These three simple powerful questions are the foundation for Warren Buffet's
relationships. Adopt them as your own. They will ultimately determine how
rich your relationships become.
are the most "relevant" people in your life? And what will you
do to make them feel more "important"?
About the author:
© 2014 Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman
As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan
Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business."
His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high
involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work. To
learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription
to his weekly Internet newsletter, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.
Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's
Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free
subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary
gifts, go to www.DrZimmerman.com.
2014 Zimmerman Communi-Care Network, Inc.