I have found the coolest phone app, for both iPhone and Android, called CamScanner. The paid version is only $5. You can take pictures of receipts when you receive them. The app will enhance, crop the picture, and then transmit it to your email or cloud storage as pdf documents. Then attaching them to your expense report is "a piece of cake”.

Everyone that submits expense reports electronically will find this phone app well worth the $5 it costs.

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."

Abraham Lincoln

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's PERSONAL COMMENTARY:

You've probably heard enough about a positive attitude to fill a lifetime or two. Perhaps that's why humorist Brian Beatty said, "I prefer to think that the chip on my shoulder gives the monkey on my back something to play with."

Of course, the more critical question is not how much have you heard about a positive attitude but how well have you mastered it. One baby mosquito mastered it quite well. After coming back from his first flight, his Dad asked, "How was it?" The baby replied, "Dad, it was wonderful. Everyone was clapping for me."

Personally, I believe that a positive attitude is one of most important and powerful forces in the world ... a force that you definitely want working for you. To pump up your attitude, do the following:

1. Expect good things to happen.

William James, the father of American psychology stated that almost everything you expect to happen in life happens. If you expect a dull and dreary life, you'll probably get it. But if you enthusiastically expect good things to happen, they probably will.

To prove this point, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale used to gather his parishioners at Marble Collegiate Church in New York City on New Year's Eve and them write down their personal expectations for the upcoming year. The parishioners would seal their expectations in an envelope, give them to Peale, and re-assemble one year later to check out the results. Almost always, people's expectations came true ... and with amazing accuracy ... everything from losing a marriage partner, to being promoted, to dying.

I encourage you to expect good things to happen today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and the next several years. Write them down. Not only will you have a better attitude now and greater success now, you'll also have more enthusiasm as you anticipate the coming of those good things.

2. Unveil the positive in every situation.

No matter what the situation, there is always a positive. Some see it and some don't. In fact, this is the distinguishing characteristic of an enthusiastic, optimistic individual. The optimist "sees" the opportunity in every difficulty whereas the pessimist "sees" the difficulty in every opportunity.

Where do you fit in? Do you see a solution for every problem or a problem in every solution? Do you see the green near every sand trap or the sand trap around every green? Do you say "It may be difficult but it's possible." or "It may be possible but it's too difficult."?

To become more positive, you need to purposely, consciously unveil the positive in every situation. Just like the old-time actress Molly Picon. When Molly heard some performers complaining about their accommodations on tour, she said, "I never complain about such things. My grandmother raised eleven children in four rooms." Someone asked, "How did she manage?" "Easy," Picon replied. "She took in boarders."

Wayne Williams, the President and CEO of Telect, Inc., is one of those people that can see the positive in every situation. He sent me his story ... which I found fascinating ... and I think you will too. He writes:

"Dear Alan, Before I left on my vacation, my Director of Human Resources asked me to give him my latest top ten books so he could share them at our upcoming leadership conference. I was taken back because I realized how far I had fallen behind in the life application books."

"As my wife and I were flying out of Monterey to Phoenix, a number of circumstances caused us to miss our flight. But I was determined to get out of there and went to the Delta airline counter, seeing they were checking in to Salt Lake. I knew that if we didn't get out of the tiny Monterey airport, we would have to stay another night. I paid the $650.00 for our new tickets and we were off. A long layover in Salt Lake would prove the delay and $650.00 would be worth the missed flight. As I perused the book section in the airport in Salt Lake, I was intrigued by this book 'PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success." I opened it up, looked at it, and wondered if it would be a good book. After all, Who is this Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, and why haven't I heard of him in all of my book reads?"

"I started reading. I was impressed. Zimmerman's thoughts seemed to mirror mine, yet articulated in a way I couldn't write. I spent the next couple of hours reading your book as we waited at the airport ... my wife looking over my shoulders with a skeptical eye and curious as to why I was so engrained in this book ... commenting she hadn't seen me so caught up in a book like this for some time."

"Well, I just finished your book about 15 minutes ago. I thought "How can I write what I learned?" Well, what better way than to send a note to the author himself."

"Your book is awesome ... contagious, refreshing, and exhilarating! I will be taking your book and buying many copies to send to family, friends, and work associates ... but most importantly will use this as an application and teaching tool in our mentoring and coaching program. Thank you for putting into words what I have tried to practice ... but more importantly ... thank you for 'waking me back up' from listening to the negativity and the monotony of the 'losers'. You will be added to my list of writers, speakers, and encouragers and I am hopeful that we will get a chance to meet and talk someday."

"This was the best $670.00 I have spent on a book! Take Care and God Bless you and your family."

Wayne Williams could have griped about missing his flight. He could have griped about the extra $650 it cost him. All of which would have made his day even worse. Instead he chose to see the positive in his situation. It's a skill that is mastered by all great positive thinkers.

Click here if you would like to get a copy of my book for yourself or possibly a group of people, if you would like to get "PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success".

3. Talk positively.

It is absolutely critical that you stop using negative terminology, for how you speak has a profound effect upon your life. Your spoken words become rooted in your conscious mind, but with repetition, they are driven deeply into your subconscious mind. It is here that your words become the guiding force, if not the controlling force, in your life. So eliminate negative words and statements from your vocabulary.

Of course it won't be easy. We seem to be surrounded by negative thinkers and negative talkers. One corporate survey discovered the dismal fact that in the average workplace today, nine negative words are spoken for every positive word. No wonder so many workers are less than enthusiastic.

So start talking more positively. Instead of talking about that "difficult and disagreeable customer," talk about the "opportunity to practice your interpersonal skills." If you do, your mind will become more positive, and you will think, feel, and act more positively. You will become more enthusiastic.

A positive attitude may not prevent all your problems or solve all your problems. But this I know ... a positive attitude will get you through your problems a great deal faster with a lot less hassle. Use these three tips to up your attitude.

ACTION:

Take the 24-hour challenge. Go one entire day without uttering one negative comment.

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work.

Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Copyright© 2013 Zimmerman Communi-Care Network, Inc.
800-621-7881
Email: Alan@DrZimmerman.com

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

"The number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying."

Tom Hopkins

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

I've asked hundreds of thousands of people what they want out of life, and the strange thing is ... I get one of two answers from almost everyone. People say, "I just want to be happy" or "I want to be successful." That's fine, but HOW do you make sure you get those things? It will be the subject of my new book coming out this year, "The Payoff Principle."

For the moment, let me give you two brief answers to those questions.

1. Pump up your enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm is important. No, let me re-phrase that. Enthusiasm is crucial.

Indeed, some of the best minds and most successful people in the world have said as much. Author and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson observed that "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." Great things have always been accomplished with enthusiasm, not apathy. And Charles Schwab, who started out as a laborer and finished as the Chairman of the Board of Bethlehem Steel, noted, "A person can succeed at anything for which there is enthusiasm."

In addition to being crucial in your own life, enthusiasm is also one of the keys to successful leadership. If you want more cooperation from others, you must have enthusiasm. Your followers ... plain and simple ... will not get more excited about a project than you are personally.

Your enthusiasm as a leader sets the standard for everyone else's energy and commitment ... because enthusiasm is contagious. Enthusiasm is a force that jumps from person to person like an electrical spark. In fact, it is almost impossible to be exposed to someone's enthusiasm for very long without catching some of it.

If enthusiasm is so critical to your success and happiness, then you're probably wondering what is this dynamic force. Literally speaking, the English word "enthusiasm" comes from the Greek word "entheos," which means "filled with God" or "full of life and spirit."

But I like to think of enthusiasm as three dimensional: physical, mental, and spiritual. Physically, enthusiasm is pure, rugged energy, not a sweet syrupy emotion that caves in when the difficult times arrive. Mentally, enthusiasm is intellectual zeal and fervor, a desire for growth, learning, and a better life. Spiritually, enthusiasm is the boldness to believe that good balances out evil in life and that there is something good to be found in every situation.

Of course, you may say, "That's all well and good, but what if a person is not enthusiastic?" What if you personally struggle with low self-esteem, a certain degree of apathy, or an attitude of "another day, another dollar"?

The good news is you can deliberately make yourself enthusiastic if you follow a few simple steps. My book on "PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success" is filled with those steps and strategies. As Jan Hughes, an Agency Field Support Specialist for one of the largest insurance companies in the world, said, "I just finished a book study on 'PIVOT' in our office. All I can say is ... Wow! That book spoke to so many of us!! Thanks for your help! We look forward to seeing you in November! We have you scheduled to speak at our Agents Conference."

And Samantha Brown writes, "Just wanted to thank you for all your incredible work. A friend got me hooked on your 'Tuesday Tips,' and I then purchased PIVOT. Both my husband and I read it, and I can honestly say it changed our lives. I've recommended your book to all of our family and friends!"

If you'd like to get your copy of "PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success," it is available once again. It just came out last week in its fifth printing.

Click here to get a copy of "Pivot"

So one way to grab more of the happiness and success you want is to pump up your enthusiasm. But a second way is just as powerful, and chances are you never thought about it.

2. Take more risks.

Everyone has a comfort zone, and to some extent, everyone lives inside their comfort zone. People just seem to do what is comfortable to do. So they stick with familiar faces at a party, sit in the same place at church, go to coffee with the same people at work, and do things "the way they've always done them."

Unfortunately, you will pay a price when you spend too much of your life in comfort-zone living. When you skip new adventures and bypass new learning experiences, you end up feeling blah, bored, or unenthusiastic.

But the exciting thing about stepping outside your comfort zone is that the payoff is always positive. If you take a risk and the risk works out the way you had hoped it would, you feel pumped up and enthusiastic. If the risk doesn't work out the way you had hoped it would, you feel disappointed, of course, but you also feel proud of yourself for having the courage to try.

So take more risks. That's what Ben Hoover did. In fact, this very week Hoover wrote me, saying, "I have been reading your 'Tuesday Tips' for years, and I have always tried to follow your 'Action' at the end of each Tip. About a year ago I decided to take a risk and step outside my comfort zone and write a short manual on successful selling tips that I have found useful over the years in my career. Last month I self-published a book on Amazon, 'Selling The Fly: A Fly Fisherman's Guide To Sales, Customers, and How To Catch A Fish.' Thanks for all you do and all the information, motivation and good advice you have provided me over the years."

As you take more risks, I'm not suggesting that you take stupid, dangerous risks just for the heck of it. No, I'm suggesting that you take "positive" risks for "positive" outcomes. Positive risk means that you try on some new behaviors -- even though they may be uncomfortable -- because you know it's right and good. A positive risk may be sharing your feelings of love, even though you're not that "type" of person, because you know people need to hear about your love. A positive risk may be trying out a new lecture at school, even though the old one was okay, because you know there's a difference between teaching for thirty years and teaching one year thirty times.

To take more positive risks, adopt a "why not" attitude. If a good idea comes into your mind, say "why not?" Why not go for it? As Senator Robert Kennedy once said, "Some people see things as they are and say 'why?' I dream things that never were and ask 'why not?'"

ACTION:

List two positive risks you will take this week and then do them. What did you learn?
And what will you do differently next time?

I would love to hear your comments and feedback. Join the conversation.

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work.

Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Copyright© 2013 Zimmerman Communi-Care Network, Inc.
800-621-7881
Email: Alan@DrZimmerman.com

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

Job Growth Data

IT Supervisors and IT Human Resource professionals were asked to detail their hiring expectations for the next two years by job category. The following are their responses for the next two years listed in order of highest growth to lowest:

• Big Data Analyst
• IT Project Managers
• Database Administrator/Analyst
• Business/System Analyst
• Network/Security Professionals
• Software Developers

The survey results certainly support the efforts of firms to collect, analyze, and protect data. The rate of expected job growth ranges from over 20% for the Big Data Analysts to over 10% for Software Developers in the next two years. These expectations are ahead of the Bureau of Labor Statistics which reported a ten year growth rate of 22% for all IT professions from 2010 to 2020 (http://www.bls.gov/ooh/about/projections-overview.htm) however they are well in line with the US News report which details IT occupations comprising 4 of the top 10 jobs in 2013. (http://money.usnews.com/careers/best-jobs/rankings/the-100-best-jobs).

The survey reported that candidates for Big Data jobs should enhance their knowledge of the following areas to be more marketable: SQL Query, SQL Reporting, DB Design Concepts, Analysis Tools (i.e. SSIS, SSAS, SSRS) and concepts related to Raw/Unstructured Data.

For IT Project Managers the following skills were considered important: Team Management, Resource Scheduling, Risk Management, Leadership/Planning and Scheduling. 

Desired Job Skills for IT Professionals

Another segment of the survey asked current IT professionals and IT hiring professionals the job skills a ‘modern' IT professional should possess in their knowledge toolkit regardless of the specific job category. Interestingly, while Business/System Analyst was the fourth highest for expected job growth, it was number one in terms of skills that all IT professionals should possess. Clearly, the need to define a problem, define alternatives and design a solution exists for all IT professionals regardless of the specific project.

The following details the results from the survey for IT skills across all IT professionals (in rank order).

1. Business / System Analysis Knowledge and Skills
2. Management of IT Projects
3. Network and Security Concepts
4. Database Skills
5. Software Development
6. Data Analytics Knowledge
7. Cloud / Virtualization Concepts

This survey was conducted in association with the Cameron Business School at the University of North Carolina Wilmington. A full report drilling down on job skills by job category desired for specific occupations as well as the leading technologies expected to grow will be available this fall on AITP-EDSIG (Education Special Interest Group)'s website at http://isecon.org . If you have additional questions before the publication, contact researchers and AITP members: Tom Janicki (janickit@uncw.edu) or Jeffrey Cummings (cummingsj@uncw.edu).

My reason for attempting to find out how best to use email was brought on by the fact that for the past few weeks I have been fielding well over 250 emails a day. So as I planned my day before I left work the night before, it seems like tomorrow I would finally accomplish some of the tasks that I have been putting off for the past few days.

Unfortunately, the tomorrow I was hoping would catch me up to date; let me feeling like I did not accomplish my goals again. Now my To-Do list is growing and will continue to grow, unless I find a way to stop the flow of emails.

I went to the internet to see if I could find some interesting information that would help me accomplish my tasks in the time I had allotted them. There are several articles on making us use emails properly. Some really good ideas, like not using capital letters, or never sending angry emails and using group emails sparingly. Another good piece of information was that email is not private. Other ideas include: Respond in a timely manner. This last piece of advice seems to be my problem, so many of the 250 plus emails I receive gets answered. That is precisely why my To-Do list continues to grow.

Of all the information I read about the proper email etiquette there was only ONE that stood out, and will be of help to me. That is "Pick up the Phone”, if the topic has lots of parameters, then pick up the phone.

I have noticed that people have forgotten how to communicate without email or texting. We all know it's true. There is a sales person on my team that only communicates via email, and even if she is next door to me, she won't pick up the phone or walk 10 feet to my office to discuss an issue. This usually brings a stream of 6 to 8 emails that could have been taken care of in a matter of a few minutes as opposed to maybe ½ hour in trading emails.

Etiquette should include making an effort to converse with others on a personal level. This is either face to face or on the phone, and will save an inordinate amount of time each day. We continue to hear how the internet will make our lives much easier. To meet that goal of making our lives easier, consider whether the use of email will REALLY save time, for both parties. It is just plain common courtesy!

Early on in my career, I learned that the primary responsibility of an IT executive is to lead others to produce meaningful and measurable results. But without proper leadership and motivation, your teams are constrained from achieving great things. Let’s looks closely at some techniques to help you jumpstart your team.

In a world of acronyms, here is one more to add to your arsenal: Dedication Attitude Reward Educate…DARE.

Dedication – Hopefully, your dedication to your employer is fierce. But contrary to what you may be thinking, I am referring to the dedication of your team. More likely than not, the reason you are in a leadership position is partly, or perhaps even mostly, due to those working for you. I can no longer count the number of times my teams have performed 3 a.m. Sunday morning system upgrades, or proactively handled issues that could have escalated into much larger problems had they not jumped into action, all without my involvement. While it’s true you can’t teach dedication, you can recognize it, which begs the question, "Are you adequately recognizing the dedication of your team and helping to create an environment that recognizes dedication?”

Attitude – You may not realize it but your attitude sets the tone by which those who surround you will emulate. Would you want to work for a manager who was depressed and resented coming to work each day? No. Do you think the field general can rally his troops by stating "Men, there’s absolutely no way we can win this battle”? Of course not. Leaders have positive attitudes, and they pass that attitude onto others: it’s infectious. I know, I know…we all have bad days, and hopefully you have many more good ones than bad. But on those occasions, try to be conscious of it and suppress it. Draw strength from some of your past successes. Leaders think positively.

Reward – People can be rewarded in different ways. If you don’t have the ability to reward employees monetarily there are certainly other effective ways.

• A personal note from you can make all the difference to an employee. When an employee receives an email from you, or better yet a handwritten note of appreciation, he or she will know you are paying attention to their work and that you value their contribution.
  
  
• Publicly recognize your employees’ contribution by putting him/her in the spotlight. Perhaps an email to the department or mentioning a particular employee’s outstanding efforts at your next staff meeting does the trick.
  
  
• Group recognition – so you’ve just completed a harrowing week and everyone has put in exceptionally long hours. Do you simply leave the office and wish them a good weekend? How about a Friday afternoon pizza party for the team…at your expense? Perhaps a note to the team praising them for their accomplishment, and be sure to copy your boss. Or how about distributing Starbucks gift cards? You get the idea. There are numerous ways you can accomplish this.

Educate – This can take on several meanings. Firstly, you can educate an employee on what he/she can do to improve themselves, but in such a way that they even thank you for it. "John, I just have to say how happy I am with the way the data warehousing project is coming along. It will certainly have a positive impact on our P&L! For future reference, try inviting Tom from Finance, he has some great ideas and unique ways of looking at data. It should yield even better results for everybody.”

Secondly, if you don’t have the means to reward employees with money, then do so with education. Employees place an incredible value on education, especially if it yields a certification. The fact that you are spending resources on their career speaks volumes about your concern for their advancement. At a previous employer, I was able to create an education plan which encouraged employees to take training classes and the corresponding exams (relevant to their area of responsibility). In return, the employee agreed to formally discuss and cross-train with the rest of the team and agreed to continue employment with the company for at least another year. In this case, everyone was a winner.

Vincent Luciani
CIO – IAC
www.iac.com

Information Technology is, as everyone knows by now, not only about data processing.  The old-time data processing issues remain with us due to the continued use of mainframe computers, evolved versions of COBOL, and the persistence of large-scale data bases throughout industry. We must continue to serve that community, but need to also broaden our range of influence without becoming so scattered that we end up doing a little of everything, but nothing very well.

This requires us to revisit the notion of principles.  We need to determine what is common to all of our IT professionals, and provide the educational and managerial resources that attract those IT professionals to an organization that some may see as having become irrelevant to their unique technological environment.  What are the unifying principles in IT and IT management that are of interest to the majority of our colleagues?  I do not have the answer to the question, but it is a question that needs to be asked, not just today, but every day as our IT industries plunge forward with new challenges, new technologies and new problems to solve.

Someone once suggested that, just as Newton's Third Law of Motion suggests action and reaction, IT problem solving is characterized by the notion that, for every new set of solutions, there is an equal opposite set of new problems.  While that analogy does not hold exactly, it does suggest that one avenue of interest where we need to be alert, and where we need to be ready to contribute is, better phrased, for every new set of solutions, there is a guarantee there will be a large number of new problems.  Where new problems arise, new opportunities also appear.  Each new IT innovation carries with it a responsibility for an organization such as AITP to inform and educate its members regarding "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" related to that innovation.

The fact that new solutions always introduce new problems is what keeps us in business.  It is the reason why we will always need more problem solvers.  AITP needs to be a contributor to the development of those problem solvers as well as those who must manage the problem solving process.

In the contemporary IT environment we must understand the full range of problems and their solutions to continue to be relevant.  In the early part of my career I was mostly involved in data processing as a programmer, then a software designer, then moved into a series of managerial positions at many levels of the IT organization.  My career took a turn to the domain of embedded systems, mostly large-scale military systems.  Finally, with my PhD in hand, I moved into the academic world teaching a variety of computer science, information technology, and software engineering subjects.

The central theme has been information, but information at many levels of abstraction.  We, in the IT world, are largely concerned with metaphor and abstraction that we convert into operational solutions: engineering.  As the information takes on different forms, is hosted on different kinds of platforms, and becomes transformed into messages that travel around the universe (yes space applications are also IT), we need to continue to understand how understanding the fundamentals remains important even as the technology disguises those fundamentals behind a variety of clever gadgets and seemingly new kinds of software.

One of those fundamentals is the notion of mission.  We continually need to be asking, with each new great idea, "What problem are we really trying to solve?"  So many of our smart and talented young IT technologists are so enamored with the technology that they still fail to ask that basic question.  "What are the risks associated with this new technology or technological solution?"  This is another fundamental question, and it is seldom asked in any kind of systematic way.  Risk is associated with the product, the process, and the actual project, but who do we know that does careful risk assessment?  Usually, we simply adore our great idea, and charge forward to implement it.

There are more such issues, of course.  These include understanding the new models for software architecture, fads in development processes, and how software can be designed to ensure that it will be able to evolve as requirements change.

AITP can be relevant as an organization devoted to the pragmatic aspects of IT.  The ACM and other such organizations are important in the contribution they make in research, academia, and as place for people to publish their research.  AITP has the opportunity to support the practical day-to-day concerns of IT managers, IT developers, and others who are less interested in the esoteric issues, but more concerned with solving problems that need solving today, not simply in the future.

Even as AITP remains close to those "in the trenches" it can still have an eye to the future. However, that future needs to be perceived as relevant by the membership.  While that sounds simple, it is complicated by the need to avoid wading into areas of IT that are not of practical interest; such wading is tempting because there are so many fascinating ideas floating around in our community.

I have gone on long enough with my rant.I hope it can be of some value.

Meanwhile, I will continue with my current project of trying to resurrect the San Jose/Silicon Valley chapter of AITP.  We will, in that effort, be looking for strong leadership at the National/International level.

Richard Riehle, PhD
Professor, Core Faculty
International Technological University
355 San Fernando Street
San Jose, CA

If you want something you've never had, you've got to do something you've never done.

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

Everything you want in life requires a risk. There are no exceptions. Whether it's a healthier body, a bigger paycheck, a better career, or a stronger marriage, you can't get those things by just hoping they'll happen. You have to DO something. You have to take a RISK.

If you want friends, for example, you've got to take the risk of introducing yourself, starting conversations, and showing interest in others. Of course, the people you choose might not be interested in you. That's the risk. But without taking the risk, you're left alone.

The same is true at work. If you want a promotion, for example, if you want a position of more responsibility, challenge and money, you'll have to take the risk of doing more than what you're being paid to do. Of course, management may not notice and may not reward all your extra effort, and you may upset your colleagues who are doing just enough to get by. That's life.

Not every risk pays off. But taking intelligent, constructive risks will work much more often than sitting around waiting for things to happen. So what is a constructive risk?

1. Risk involves new behavior.

I remember Tom who came to me for counseling. Tom said, "I'm terribly lonely. I've never had a date with a woman in my whole life. Loneliness is the worst way to live, and it's the only way I know how to live." With tears streaming down his cheeks, he asked, "Can you please help me?"

I asked him what he had been doing about his problem, and he talked about various on-line and in-person dating services he had joined. He talked about a long list of women that interested him but said, "I'm afraid to contact any of them. I have no self-confidence. What if they say 'no' if I ever ask them out?"

In Tom's case, he had not learned the new behavior that was required. He needed to know how to communicate with women and how to deal with the occasional rejection he would receive. Each of those behaviors was a risk because they required skills that he had not yet learned.

Are you trying to change things in your organization? Probably so. That seems to be the case every place I go to speak. The problem is ... in many organizations, the leaders simply announce the change and expect it to happen. They don't give their people the skills they need to be successful at the change.

No wonder their people fight change. No one wants to be a loser. And without the proper training, your people are going to struggle with change way more than they have to. That's why my program on "The Human Side of Change: How to Go From Chaos to Control" has become so popular. People get the skills they need to get the results they want. Click here to read more about it.

After attending the program, Jennifer Homan, the Office Coordinator at Miracle Ear, said, "I learned more about myself, my coworkers and my family life in the time I spent with Dr. Zimmerman than I have in the past thirty years. With the change skills you gave us, I left the program as a more patient person as well as being a better communicator, a better employee, a better friend, and a better mother."

2. Risk involves the potential of loss.

You could get hurt. You could lose something. A child who touches his mother's expensive vase could get his hand slapped, especially if he had been forewarned not to touch it. The slap could hurt. An employee could lose his job after pointing out how wrong the boss was, particularly if he did in the wrong way, at the wrong time, or in wrong setting ... all change management skills that he may have never learned.

If you're engaged in a behavior that is a sure thing, where there is no chance of losing anything, it's not a risk. That's clear enough. But you also know that risks are risky. That's also clear enough.

So your challenge is to take risks ... if you want to get ahead in life ... at the same time you minimize your potential losses when you take those risks. That's possible.

I've discovered a little secret. Just ask yourself four questions about your potential risk ... BEFORE you take the risk. Ask yourself:

• Is it necessary?
• Will it work?
• Is it cost effective (financially, emotionally, relationally, occupationally)?
• Is it worth it?

If you get two or more "yes" answers to those questions, your chances of a successful outcome are very good.

3. Risk involves the possibility of gain.

In fact every risk is part danger and part opportunity. Saying what you really think is sometimes dangerous, but it is an opportunity to be close to and honest with another person. Getting 360 degree feedback on the job is dangerous because you may not like what you hear. But it's also an opportunity to get better at what you do.

Disagreeing with your spouse can be dangerous; it may lead to a fight. But it's also an opportunity for each of you to see things in a different light. Trying something you've never done before could be dangerous, but it's also an opportunity to discover new talents.

Perhaps you remember the old movie "Funny Girl" with Barbara Streisand playing the role of Fanny Bryce. Fanny got a job as a chorus girl in the Ziegfield Follies, in particular, dancing in line on roller skates. While everyone else performed beautifully, all in sync, Fanny looked horrible, stumbling and gyrating on her roller skates. Mr. Ziegfield hollered at her and said, "I thought you said you could roller skate?" Fanny simply replied, "I never knew I couldn't".

For Fanny, trying something new, such as roller skating was dangerous; she could make a fool of herself. But it was also an opportunity for her to discover her real talent, which happened to be singing instead of skating.

You need to do the same thing. Recognize the danger and the opportunity in the risks you face. If you only look at one side of the situation, your emotional intelligence is low and your change success rate will be dismal. But if you look at both the danger and the opportunity in your risks ... and if you learn how to assess which is in greater supply ... you will win.

ACTION:

Where in your life do you need to increase your risk taking? How will you do it? And when will you start?

I would love to hear your comments and feedback. Join the conversation.

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work.

Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Copyright© 2013 Zimmerman Communi-Care Network, Inc.
800-621-7881
Email: Alan@DrZimmerman.com

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

I got an email last year from a friend (AITP) whose job was to solicit nominations for the Association Board of Directors (ABoD). Having just retired, I thought --- oh NO - not me -- why would I want to get more involved at this time? My involvement with AITP has always been as an advisor for the student chapter at Eastern Illinois University. What could I possibly have to give to this organization at the national level?

I ran the scenarios - 1. retire, kick up my heels, no involvement with AITP or with the students (yes - my passion)! 2. retire, stay involved with AITP at the local level 3. retire, stay involved with AITP, run for ABoD, be able to stay actively involved with the student groups and NCC

Scenario number 3 won! There is so much going on at the national level - more so that I thought possible. Yes - there are days when I check my sanity (don't we all!), but I really feel that a person must stay involved -- actively involved -- to have ownership.

Make a choice - get involved at whatever level makes you happy - but get involved. Help your local chapter, help your region, help at the national level, be the person who makes a difference.

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"

Charlie Brown, from the cartoon strip "Peanuts"

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

If you come from the old school of business, if you take a traditional view of leadership and work relationships, it's got to be very tough for you these days. You were taught to leave your emotions at the door when you came to work.

Indeed, your motto might be very much like Archie Bunker's famous line in the "All In The Family" sitcom. Whenever anybody showed too much emotion, or any emotion, Archie would shout out, "Stifle! Stifle!" In other words, "Suck it up and shut up."

Yes, it's got to be tough for you. Because all the research on Emotional Intelligence says that is NOT the best way to approach your work or your life ... if you want the best possible outcome. Indeed, you'll have a great deal more success if you master the four elements of Emotional Intelligence (self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management) than you will ever have by simply focusing on being intellectually smart or good at doing something.

In the last three issues of my "Tuesday Tip," I discussed those first three elements. But the fourth element of Relationship Management may be the most important. After all, the driving purpose behind Emotional Intelligence and life in general is to build strong, healthy, effective relationships. So how do you acquire true competence in Relationship Management? That's the very essence of the second day of my "Journey to the Extraordinary" program. Click here to read more about the Journey.

For starters, however...

1. You need to move from having a Traditionalist's outlook to having a High Performer's understanding of emotions.

A Traditionalist thinks that emotions distract him, inhibit the flow of information, cloud his judgment, and make him vulnerable. So he believes that emotions have to be controlled.

Somehow, the Traditionalist mistakenly equates Emotional Intelligence with being weak, submissive, and Pollyannish. He mistakenly thinks he has to be super nice, overly polite, and sugar coat his language.

A High Performer knows better. He knows that people do not leave their emotions at home or at the door when they come to work. A High Performer knows ... that even though many organizational cultures place a high value on intelligence devoid of emotion ... that our emotions are often times more powerful than our intellect. Emotions alert us to dangers that are crucial to our personal, interpersonal, and organizational survival.

A High Performer understands that when people are angry, anxious, alienated, depressed, or have any one of a number of negative emotions, their work suffers. They can't think as clearly, take in information as fully, understand it as deeply, and respond as effectively as when they're upset. So it's to his advantage and everyone else's to cultivate as many positive feelings as possible rather than ignore people's feelings.

A High Performer understands that positive feelings motivate him and others, build trust, increase confidence, and even speed up the analysis of data. There's a big upside when feelings are understood and managed appropriately.

The best salespeople will tell you the same thing. They will openly admit that their success in sales requires the empathic ability to gauge a customer’s mood so they can decide when to pitch a product and when to keep quiet. And once they have made that assessment, they choose the most appropriate interpersonal skills ... or Relationship Management skills ... to pitch their product.

2. You need to understand the components of Relationship Management.

Daniel Goleman, the original researcher in the field of Emotional Intelligence used that terminology. But don't confuse "management" with "manipulation" or "control." That's not at all what he meant.

Relationship Management is all about your interpersonal communication skills. It's all about your ability to get the best out of others ... your ability to inspire and influence them, your ability to communicate and build bonds with them, and your ability to help them change, grow, develop, and resolve conflict.

That's a tall order, but fortunately those skills can be taught and learned. And to the extent you master those skills, the more success you'll have in your relationships ... at work with your employees, coworkers, teammates, and customers ... and at home with your spouse, children, friends, and family.

Of course, it's not enough to merely understand the components of Relationship Management. That's merely intellectual head stuff that won't do you much good in the real world. So...

3. You need to keep on practicing the skills of Relationship Management.

And there are lots of them, some more important than others. I think these skills are critical. And my colleague, Art Sobczak, who is one of the most gifted sales trainers in the world, describes some of those relationship skills with such eloquence. In fact if you're in sales, I would suggest you sign up for his newsletter clicking here.

Among other tips, Sobczak says:

• A perception of a person’s IQ goes down a point every time they say "like ... ah ... um ... you guyses ... and ... dude." It’s like, not professional, and makes someone sound immature, ya’ know? Join Toastmasters or take another speaking course.
  
  
• Be selfless, curious, and grateful. You will be surprised at how it comes back to you.
  
  
• Emailed thank-you notes are not acceptable for most things worth thanking for. Get a nice pen and your own stationery and lots of stamps. Yes, some people still use regular mail. The very successful people.
  
  
• For whatever you want, ask yourself, "Who can give this to me? What do they want and care about? And how and what can I first do for them?"
  
  
• Be obsessively interested in other people. Ask questions. Find out how you can help them. Follow up and stay in touch. Almost everything you achieve will be the result of the people you meet and the relationships you form along the way.
  
  
• Always ask for what you want. In all areas of your life. Do not wish, ask. Few things will be outright given to you without you initiating it first. This alone can make you millions of dollars and help you become happier than you imagined. Trust me on this one.
  
  
• Speaking of asking, you will remember the "yes" answers you hear and eventually forget about the "no’s." If you want to count anything, celebrate your attempts. The "yeses" will come.
  
  
• Pay complete, undivided attention to every individual you communicate with. If face-to-face, make eye contact. Listen as if your life depended on it. Don't interrupt. Pause after you ask a question and after they answer. Ask another related question. Don't shift the topic to yourself.
  
  
• When you are in the presence of others, put the phone away and turn it off. Please. Paying attention to the phone instead of the person in front of you is the ultimate insult and makes you look like a self-absorbed fool.
  
  
• Being five minutes early is on time. Showing up right on time or later is late. It shows a lack of respect for the other person or people.
  
  
• Treat everyone you come in contact with as the most important person in the world. You will be surprised who can actually buy from you and give you want you want. You might also be surprised who can prevent you from that as well.
  
  
• Smile more often than you don't. You feel better, and others react to you more favorably.

Great advice. I'll just add one other point when it comes to enhancing your Emotional Intelligence and Relationship Management skills. Remember there are no Lone Rangers. As TV commentator Hugh Downs said, "To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, 'Your end of the boat is sinking.'"

We're all connected. One little boy just couldn't figure that out. As he was quizzing his mother one day, "You say the stork brings babies?" he asked. "Yes," said his mother.

"And the Lord gives us our daily bread?" "Yes, dear!"

"And Santa Claus brings us presents?" "Yes ...!"

"Well, then," the little boy frowned, "Why do we have to have Daddy?"

Everybody wants to be happy and successful. That's a given. You can wait around hoping that happiness and success will fall in your lap, but chances are you'll wait a life time. If you want to ensure your happiness and success, get the Emotional Intelligence you need ... first ... and just about everything else will fall into place.

ACTION:

Decide on three Relationship Management skills you are going to focus on and improve this week.

I would love to hear your comments and feedback. Join the conversation.

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work.

Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Copyright© 2013 Zimmerman Communi-Care Network, Inc.
800-621-7881
Email: Alan@DrZimmerman.com

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."

Norman Vincent Peale

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

In his book, "Working With EQ," Daniel Goleman reported a study of Harvard graduates in the fields of law, medicine, education, and business and found that a person's scores on an entrance exam (which is another way of testing one's IQ) had no connection whatsoever to that person's eventual career success. Indeed, just the opposite was the case. In many situations, the higher a person's entrance exam scores, the lower his/her success later in life.

That's absolutely amazing. When you think about it, each of those career types focus almost exclusively on intellectual ability to get into those fields, but it was the person's Emotional Intelligence that carried the most weight in determining who would emerge as leaders in those fields.

So that begs the question, if Emotional Intelligence is one of the best predictors of success, can it be taught? Can people actually learn to be emotionally intelligent? Yes! Absolutely! I teach it all the time ... because most people were never taught how to handle emotions such as stress, failure, anger, low self-esteem, and a host of other emotional issues and communication challenges.

When Pam Meehan-Smith, a Customer Service Manager for the US Postal Service, attended my program, she said, "I came to the session believing it would be another 'touchy-feely, feel-good' exercise. But I got so thoroughly caught up in Dr. Zimmerman's enthusiasm and knowledge of the subject that I couldn't help but learn. More importantly, I took his skills and strategies back to the workplace to make it a MUCH better workplace."

And Peter Vetter, a Labor Relations Manager for the US Postal Service, reported, "Dr. Zimmerman's program got me thinking more deeply about my role in shaping my work and personal life. I left the program empowered to bring out the best in others. And it worked like magic!"

Yes, you can learn to be emotionally intelligent. It's not something you're born with and it's not something you inherit. It's something you learn. In particular, to be emotionally intelligent, you must master four things: 1) Self-Awareness, 2) Self-Management, 3) Social Awareness, and 4) Relationship Management. I've written about the first two dimensions in my last two "Tuesday Tips," so let's go on to the third dimension of Social Awareness.

1. What does is it mean ... the Social Awareness of Emotional Intelligence?

In its simplest terms, you realize that it's NOT all about me. When you have emotional smarts, you're able to focus on others, observe their emotions, and notice their actions and reactions. You're able to ask questions, listen, and learn what other people are feeling. You're able to understand their perspective and determine what factors influenced them for the good or the bad, even though their perspective and their experiences might be quite different than yours. You are aware of the other person's feelings, needs and concerns.

In many ways, it boils down to three sets of skills: empathy, organizational awareness, and service orientation. My book on "Brave Questions" deals with the empathy portion in great detail, and my book on "The Service Payoff" deals with the service orientation in equal detail. (You can find them by going to my estore.)

However, if you're a bit short on empathy, if your spouse says "You never listen to me," and if you seem to be a little disconnected from the people at home or at work, try these empathy-building exercises.

• Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see the world from his or her point of view,
• Try to understand the pressures, responsibilities, expectations, and demands placed upon the other person,
• Say "I'd like to know more about that" if the other person sounds off inappropriately or seems a bit confusing,
• Explore the reasoning behind his or position or argument.

Of course, you may be somewhat unclear as to how effective you are at the Social Awareness piece of Emotional Intelligence. So...

2. Get some feedback on your level of Social Awareness.

Anthony Mersino, the author of "Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers: The People Skills You Need to Achieve Outstanding Results," developed a quiz along those line. I've modified the questions a bit so it applies to everyone. Go through the questions and answer "yes" or "no" to each question.

• Do you use sarcasm in your communications with team members, coworkers, customers or other project stakeholders?
• Do you frequently say "yes" to action items in meetings or agree to take on work ... and then regret it later?
• Do you feel the need to crack a joke or change the subject during tough conversations?
• Do you find it easier to set the record straight or vent your frustration in an e-mail rather than in person?
• Are your relationships with your team members and team leaders superficial and limited to the task at hand?
• Do you get upset or take it personally when your boss or team leader is angry?
• Do you ever find yourself dwelling on conflict with your team members or fantasizing about ways to get even?
• Do you wish you were more charismatic or had more presence as a team leader or manager?

From my point of view, if you answered "yes" to three or more questions, you NEED to work on your Social Awareness. And if you're not sure of your answers, if you're not totally aware of your own behavior, ask five people at home or work ... that know you very well ... to answer the questions for you. Their responses may be painful to hear, but they will also help you take the next step towards increased Social Awareness.

Finally, don't ever forget ...

3. When you increase your Social Awareness, you increase your chances of success.

One young man had to learn that the hard way, as my friend Palani at PAL Vision Associates told me. He told me about a young man who went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the initial interview, and now he was about to meet the director for his final interview. The director discovered from his resume that the youth's academic achievements were excellent. He asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the young man answered "no".

"Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"

"My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees." he replied.

"Where did your mother work?" The young man said, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner."

The director asked the job applicant to show him his hands. The applicant showed his that were smooth and perfect. So the director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes?"

"Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, my mother can wash clothes faster than me." said the young man.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go home today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning." The young man felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back home, he asked his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The young man cleaned his mother's hands slowly, with tears dripping down his face. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and so covered in bruises. Some bruises were so painful that his mother winced when he touched them.

This was the first time the young man realized that it was this pair of hands that washed clothes every day to pay for his education. After cleaning his mother's hands, the young man quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, the mother and son talked for a very long time.

The next morning, the young and eager job applicant went to the director's office. The director noticed the tears in the applicant's eyes when he asked, "Can you tell me what you learned at your house yesterday?"

The young man answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands, and I finished cleaning all the remaining clothes. I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, I would not be who I am today. By helping my mother, I not only realized how difficult it is to get something done on your own, but I also have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping other people."

The director said, "This is what I am looking for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired!"

The new manager worked very hard and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and worked as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously. All because this new manager had gained a significant portion of Social Awareness.

As a footnote, let me tell you that a child who is protected and habitually given whatever he wants ... develops an "entitlement mentality" and will always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he would assume that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others when things don't go his way.

A child raised this way may be good academically, and successful for a while, but eventually he would not feel a sense of achievement. He will grumble, be full of hatred, and fight for me-me-me.

You can let your child live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, and watch TV on a big screen. But if you want to raise Social Awareness and Emotional Intelligence in your kids, when you are cutting grass, let them experience it as well. After a meal, let your children wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. Let your kids know that even though you could afford a maid, you may not have one ... because you want your children to experience the difficulty of learning how to work with others to get things done.

ACTION:

How much have you grown past the point of "It's all about me-me-me?" What are you doing to be more aware of and sensitive to the people around you?

I would love to hear your comments and feedback. Join the conversation.

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work.

Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Copyright© 2013 Zimmerman Communi-Care Network, Inc.
800-621-7881
Email: Alan@DrZimmerman.com

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

"When I say manage emotions, I only mean the really distressing, incapacitating emotions. Feeling emotions is what makes life rich. You need your passions."

Daniel Goleman

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

Back in the 1950's, a group of researchers studied 80 science Ph.D. students at the University of California-Berkeley ... giving them a battery of personality tests, IQ tests, and interviews ... hoping to predict their future professional success. Forty years later, those same individuals were assessed once again. Their resumes were studied, their accomplishments were examined by experts in their fields, and their placements in such sources as "American Men and Women of Science" were included in the final analysis.

The conclusion? Even though these were "hard-core science" people instead of "soft-skill oriented" professionals, their social and emotional abilities were four times more important than their IQ's in establishing their professional success and prestige. FOUR times more!

According to R. Sternberg in "Successful Intelligence," the research shows that your IQ contributes a mere 20% to your overall success in life. The rest depends on your Emotional Intelligence (EI). It's something you cannot afford to ignore. Or put another way, your IQ might get you hired, but it is your EI that will almost certainly get you promoted.

So what is this magical, powerful Emotional Intelligence all about? As I mentioned in last week's article, it is comprised of four skill sets: 1) Self-Awareness, 2) Self-Management, 3) Social Awareness, and 4) Relationship Management. Last week I explained Self-Awareness. Let's take a look at the second skill set of Self-Management.

Indeed, those first two elements of Self-Awareness and Self-Management are the very things I teach in my program on "The Payoff Principle: How You Can Motivate Yourself To Win Every Time In Any Situation." You can read about it by clicking here, or listen to Bill Griffith, the Facilities Manager at Dallas County Hospital. He said, "This program got me on the right path in life." Or listen to Phyllis Drake, the Cardiopulmonary Supervisor at Green County Medical Center, who says, "Extremely motivational. Excellent take home tips that I used immediately. I would highly recommend Dr. Zimmerman's program for your business."

To dig a little deeper and help you develop the Self-Management part of your Emotional Intelligence...

1. What is Self-Management?

It's going beyond knowing yourself to knowing how to conduct yourself. That's why one person said, "Anyone can be angry; that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way ... that is not easy."

It goes beyond spontaneous reacting to thoughtful responding. A person who is emotionally stupid says and does such things as "I'll do whatever I want whenever I feel like it." By contrast, a person with high emotional intelligence knows:

• There is a time to wait and a time to move,
• There is a time to be together and a time to be alone,
• There is a time to work and a time to play,
• There is a time to confront and a time to withdraw,
• There is a time to speak and a time to be silent, and
• There is a time to be patient and a time to decide.

Self-management goes beyond a victim mentality to that of an owner's mentality. It's like the small girl who was showing her friends the bathroom scale. She says, "I don't know what it is, but when you stand on it, it makes you mad." Obviously she was describing the mentality and the behavior of adults she had seen who knew little or nothing about emotional intelligence and self-management.

Dr. Daniel Goleman associates self-management with such characteristics as self-control, transparency, adaptability, achievement, initiative, and optimism. Absolutely. My book on "PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success" describes those points in detail, but more importantly it tells you exactly how to develop those characteristics. You can get a copy by clicking here.

Of course, it's one thing to know what the Self-Management aspect of Emotional Intelligence is all about. More importantly,

2. How do you develop Self-Management?

You get some training. And you learn to ask yourself some questions ... so you think before you talk and do. Ask yourself such questions as:

• How do you define success and successful behavior?
• What are you willing to do to accomplish success and your desired results?
• How will your life be different if you think before you act and react?
• Are you willing to ask for help when you need it?
• Are you willing to listen to others' opinions?
• How do you keep yourself from succeeding or getting ahead?
• What beliefs do you need to change for you to achieve your goals?
• How well is negative thinking serving you?
• What will it take to move forward?
• Do you believe your current perspective is helping or hindering you?
• What are you doing to manage the most uncomfortable part of your life at this time?
• What is the best thing that could happen to you if you changed your behavior?
• What is the worst thing that could happen to you if you changed your behavior?
• How do you sabotage yourself?

Take a lesson from professional stunt woman Kitty O'Neil. She could have easily been angry or discouraged considering all that happened to her. But because of her own Emotional Intelligence and amazing Self-Management, she accomplished a great deal.

O'Neil's bravery was wide-ranging: She was born deaf; became a champion three-meter and platform diver whose Olympic aspirations were dashed by a bout of spinal meningitis that doctors said would permanently paralyze her, and survived two grueling sets of cancer treatment, all before her 28th birthday. In 1976, she became a Hollywood stunt woman and was featured in dozens of TV shows and movies and held the highest stunt fall by a woman at 105 feet.

When she took her shot at the land-speed record for female drivers at the Alvord Desert in southeastern Oregon, the record hovered around 400 mph. Observers reported that O'Neil's car actually reached a top speed of more than 618 miles per hour in various practice runs.

When the day for the "real" race came, "Sports Illustrated" said, "There is no doubt that by dialing in more power, Kitty would have gone still faster -- and maybe even past the sonic barrier." However, dialing in more power was not an option for O'Neil. Under her contract, she was only permitted to drive her car to a new women's record. The movie director Hal Needham had paid $25,000 for the chance to steer the car to a new overall world record, and he was determined not to lose that chance to a woman. So, after O'Neil set her record, Needham rather unceremoniously demanded that she be pulled from the drivers' seat. His spokesman even told reporters that it would be "degrading" for a woman to hold the "man's" record.

While the lawyers squabbled, it began to snow, and the race track was closed for the season. Needham never even got behind the wheel. And O'Neil retired in 1982.

If Kitty O'Neil had not been an emotionally intelligent self-managing person, she might have gotten very angry about all of that. She might have exploded and gave them all a piece of her mind. Instead, she knew how to handle herself with poise and professionalism and went on to gain and hold 22 speed records on land and water.

If you haven't mastered the skills of Self-Management, you can. That's the good news. So what are you waiting for?

ACTION:

List your three major challenges in Self-Management. How do you "lose" it? And list three things you could do to increase your Emotional Intelligence so you are more effective at Self-Management.

We want to hear your comments and feedback. Join the conversation.

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work. Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

"It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence. It is not the triumph of heart over head. It is the unique intersection of both."

David Caruso, author

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

Fashions change. What was "in style" a few years ago is probably "out of style" now. In fact, the differences in fashion and style can be so dramatic that you can watch a movie ... and within two minutes ... you can say with certainty if that movie was set in the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's, or some other period.

Of course, just because a certain fashion is no longer "in style" does not necessarily make that fashion bad. The clothing in the 1950's probably served its purpose just as well as clothing does in the 2010's. People simply like the look of something new, fresh, and different.

As an author and speaker who focuses on transforming the people side of business, I've noticed a similar trend in my industry. The so-called "in" topics are often nothing more than re-fashioned old concepts and practices. What used to be called "stress management" is now commonly referred to as "work-life balance." What used to be called "delegation" is now called "empowerment." And what used to be called Aristotle's "7 keys to success" became Steven Covey's "7 habits of highly effective people."

None of that is bad. A new take on an old, time-tested set of truths and skills can be very useful. For example, I find today's emphasis on "emotional intelligence" to be extremely important ... and perhaps a better, more fitting terminology than what it used to called ... "interpersonal communication."

It's extremely important because ...

1. Emotional intelligence is an accurate predictor of success.

For years, we naively thought if a person was intellectually sharp, if he had a high I.Q., he would undoubtedly become successful in his endeavors. And some of our schools still struggle with this concept, somehow thinking that high grades in school translate to high levels of success at work and at home.

Daniel Goleman debunked that myth in study after study. In one study of Harvard graduates in the fields of law, medicine, education, and business, Goleman found that the scores on their entrance exams ... which is another way of getting at someone's I.Q. ... had no, absolutely no correlation with their eventual career success. Indeed, in many cases, just the opposite was true; the higher their scores on their entrance exams, the lower their levels of professional success later on in life.

When he dug deeper into studies such as that, Goleman found that a person's emotional intelligence ... or their personal and interpersonal skills ... carried much more weight than a person's I.Q. in determining which of the individuals would emerge as leaders. In fact, he concluded that no more than 25% of a person's success could be attributed to I.Q.

And Goleman may have been generous in his conclusion. According to R. Sternberg in "Successful Intelligence," a more careful analysis suggests the figure may be no greater than 10%, and in some studies only 4%. That means that your I.Q. leaves 75% to 96% of your job success unexplained.

What's the point? If you want to get ahead, if you want to be outrageously successful, having a high I.Q. or just plain being smart won't do it for you. Academic intellect isn't enough. Technical proficiency won't win the prize. You've got to have emotional intelligence. No question about it. So ...

2. What is emotional intelligence?

It has four components. They're very much like the four corners of a building, where each corner represents a different set of skills. If ALL ... not just some ... if all four corners are set right and in good shape, you can make a very sturdy, functional building. And likewise, if you have all four parts of emotional intelligence mastered, chances are you will be a very happy and successful individual ... on and off the job.

The first corner is Self-Awareness. You're able to figure out your feelings and understand yourself. And many people don't even have this first foundational piece in place. They're like the tombstone epitaph I saw in England that read, "Here lies a man who came into this world and left it without ever knowing who he was."

The second corner is Self-Management. Even though it's important, as Socrates advised to "know thyself," it's not enough. You have to know what feels good and what feels bad and how to go from bad to good. You have to know how to use your self-awareness so you can manage yourself and conduct yourself appropriately and effectively. It won't work to tell the world, "This is who I am. Take it or leave it." That's not emotional intelligence. That's emotional stupidity. Most people will choose to leave you behind if that's how you behave.

The third corner is Social Awareness. Face it; almost everything you do is done in a world of people, and almost everything you do well is done when you are "in tune" with the people around you. That takes Social Awareness. In other words, you must be able to read and understand the feelings and reactions of others if you're going to be highly successful.

The fourth corner is Relationship Management. You must know how to inspire, influence, encourage and develop others to work with you rather than against you. Like all the other corners of Emotional Intelligence, this is a set of skills you can learn.

Because our space is limited in the "Tuesday Tip," let me briefly highlight the first corner of Emotional Intelligence.

3. How do I start to enhance my Self-Awareness?

It should be fairly simple, as Rachel Burkholder shared in her story. She talked about the time her parish priest was leaving for a new assignment. The day before he was to leave, a little girl ran up to him and tearfully threw her arms around him in a good-bye embrace. The priest consoled the child, kissing her cheeks, while cheerfully saying, "And where did you get those cute rosy cheeks?" The little girl replied, "Oh, that's poison ivy!"

Yes, Self-Awareness should be fairly simple, but some people spend a whole lifetime and never get to know themselves. It's a pity, because it truly hinders the development of their Emotional Intelligence and thereby their effectiveness in everything they do.

To increase your Self-Awareness, start asking yourself a number of "Brave Questions" and do some thinking about your answers. You might even get a copy of my book on "Brave Questions".

Here are a few questions to get you started.

What are your gifts and talents?

Everyone is born with talent. You may be unaware of your unique talents, simply because your talents are so much a part of you that they often seem hardly worth mentioning. Begin the process by asking yourself ... What have you always been able to do with very little effort? What do your friends and family continually ask you to do over everyone else? What activities are you consistently drawn to?

What fascinates you?

What subject do you never tire of discussing? What topics cause your ears to perk up when someone across the room begins to discuss one or more of those topics? What causes you to stop your channel surfing when you see it come across your television screen? Do you read a number of books all focused on a particular subject? What do you find to be of perennial interest?

What's your passion?

Everyone has a fire burning inside them, even though for some people the fires have never been encouraged to do more than smolder. What is it that would flare up and burn brightly in you if you gave it the slightest opportunity? Is it a cause, a vocation, a book you want to write, or picture you want to paint? What do you find yourself daydreaming about?

You can be more effective in EVERY part of your life ... if you increase your Emotional Intelligence. That's why every keynote I deliver and every seminar I give teaches people how they can transform themselves, their relationships, and their organizations. Life and work are just too important to not get it right.

ACTION:

Take five minutes each day this week to get to know yourself better ... to increase your self-awareness.

We want to hear your comments and feedback. Join the conversation.

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work. Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Copyright © 2013 Zimmerman Communi-Care Network, Inc.
800-621-7881
Email: Alan@DrZimmerman.com

STEM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. The group called STEM Advantage has as their focus helping college students involved in STEM with scholarships to help them complete their education and enter the work place in the United States.

The group was formed to stem the flow of outsourcing jobs offshore and educating our children. This will enable them to become competitive in the Global marketplace. The primary focus for the scholarships is to prepare and inspire young women and those in underserved communities to pursue careers in science, technology, engineering and math. 

The event was held at the Space Center in Los Angeles California, where the Spaceship Endeavor is housed. Attendees, who paid a hefty price for finger food, had the opportunity to take pictures with the Endeavor. The money went for a good cause and 10 scholarships were awarded to 10 deserving students.

University of California, Dominguez Hills has accepted the banner of being the university where the scholarships are given out. UC Dominguez Hills has been paying close attention to training our future Information Technology Professionals. They have some unusual specialties in Cyber Security and Homeland Security training. With the industry in dire need of Security professionals, these graduates should get jobs when they matriculate.

Al and Bonnie Strong in front of the space ship Endeavor at the STEM Advantage event.

"The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”
Anthony Robbins, author

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

"My girlfriend told me last night that I spend far too much time texting. I just tilted my head sideways and smiled at her.” Funny? Perhaps. Pathetic? Probably.

The man who sent me that e-mail this week went on to say, "Now she's mad at me. I don't understand.” Of course, he doesn't. He's never been taught what works and doesn't work in the "art” of communication, especially during those critical first moments of conversation.

That's why I found Dr. Leonard Zunin's discovery so incredibly helpful. In his book, "Contact: The First Four Minutes,” Zunin says the success or failure of any act of communication can often be traced to the first four minutes of a conversation. Of course, you might wonder what's the big deal. Zunin says, "It is not an arbitrary interval. Rather, it is the average time, demonstrated by careful observation, during which strangers in a social situation — (and I would contend all people in all situations, even business situations) — interact before they decide to part or continue the encounter.”

That's why he pleads with spouses to be pleasant when they first come together at the end of a day's work. Don't talk about the problems of the day until the mood of the evening is positively set. And that's why I plead with managers and individual contributors to spend the first few minutes of every work day connecting with one another, building rapport and camaraderie, before they get down to the challenges before them.

In a similar sense, if you're in a business that has direct contact with customers, the first minutes of a first impression can have a huge impact on the customer's overall satisfaction with your product service. The way the customer is greeted, the way the waiting room looks, everything contributes to a first and sometimes lasting impression.

In fact, if you don't spend a conscious effort making the first four minutes of every encounter count, you'll probably come off as disinterested and neglectful. Oh, you may not be "trying” to send such a message, but if you don't focus on making the first four minutes as effective as possible, people will interpret your actions as sending one of the following messages: "I am too busy for you … What you think/feel/want is not important … You are not worth caring about… or … I don't like you. I don't know what to do with you. So I ignore you.”

So what goes into making the first four minutes count? It's a portion of my program on "The Partnership Payoff: 7 Keys to Better Relationships and Greater Teamwork.” People rave about this keynote and seminar. Click here to read more.

You need to do four things in the first four minutes:

1. Project confidence

You know from experience that you do not respond favorably to someone who is self-demeaning or overly apologetic. Such an attitude may breed your temporary sympathy, but it is doubtful that someone else's lack of confidence will create a sense of warmth or closeness. That being the case, you need to convey a certain degree of self-confidence as a foundation for any successful encounter, new or old, brief or lengthy.

2. Use creativity

When you start a conversation with someone, find ways to tune into his/her feelings. You may have to work through a lot of fluff and facts to get there, but if you can sense someone's feelings and be sensitive to their feelings, you'll be ahead of 90% of the people out there.

For example, you may sense a person is feeling overwhelmed, even though he says, "Everything's great.” You may add a supportive and encouraging tone to your conversation. Or you may sense a person is feeling lonely, even though the other person says, "I'm too busy for relationships.” You may say something as simple as "It's so nice to spend a little time with you.” When you sense someone's feelings and respond appropriately, you come across as far more sensitive and professional than most people who simply stick to their me-me-me agenda.

You could also use your creativity to reveal something about yourself … thus making it easier for the other person to respond to you. You might say, "I've never been to one of these training sessions before … or … This is a really great room for our company dinner … or … That's a beautiful ring. If you don't mind me asking, where did you find it?”

3. Demonstrate caring

To make the first four minutes truly count, show the other person that are you interested … truly interested … in him or her by listening with total attention. No glancing at your iPhone, e-mail, or interesting passersby. Indeed, when you avoid distractions, when you give total attention, and when you stay with the train of thought, you will have surprisingly good results with your coworkers, your customers, your spouse, your child, and new or old acquaintances. That's why Dale Carnegie said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Of course, for communication to work, the caring has to go both ways. Nancy Lindsay, one of my audience members from Boeing, told me, "My second job is in retail, which I have been doing for twenty-six years. I am regarded highly by my customers and my company, and I acknowledge every customer that comes near me. Unfortunately, I have seen too many sales associates ignoring their customers while engaging in personal conversations, which I consider very inappropriate. But in defense of other associates it is most difficult to acknowledge and assist your customers when they are on their cell phones. I have seen customers shop for hours without once removing the phone from their ear, and this makes customer service almost impossible. Respect is a two way street.”

Yes. And so is caring, conversation, and communication.

4. Show consideration

In short, focus on what you can do and say so the other person goes away from the conversation feeling better about him/herself. It will certainly happen if you do the first three things listed above, but it also goes a step beyond that.

A great conversationalist knows that every person is unique, with their own hopes, dreams, fears and problems … and treats them accordingly. And a great conversationalist knows that he is either giving energy to or sucking energy from the other person. So he consciously focuses on those behaviors that energize the other person.

An awful lot of what you want out of life will come about because of the way you communicate. And if you do a great job on the first four minutes of conversation, your chances of successful communication are immeasurably better.

Action:

Find three times this week to practice the skills listed above in the first four minutes of conversation. Take note of what worked especially well.

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work. Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

How did the CDO position emerge? What are the CDO responsibilities and why are large corporations seeking CDOs to innovate, transform, and deliver digital technology solutions for their organizations? Why aren't CIOs leading the way to delivering ROI for large corporations? Are there no functioning partnerships between Chief Marketing Officers (CMOs) and Chief Information Officers (CIOs)? So many questions about the CDO!

First, let's look at some common identified responsibilities of the CDO:

• Keep pace with technology changes and consumer behavior
• Integrate digital technology strategies into business strategies
• Ensure effective use of digital technologies such as web, mobile, social, local, and global trends
• Drive change across the organization
• Meet customer needs for fresh information and the ability to buy wherever, whenever and however they want

But, aren't these responsibilities in the CIO and CMO positions? CMOs market an organization's products and services. In a cohesive marketing strategy, the information and materials prepared by marketing are used up, down and across the organization in addition to the outward reach to customers, existing and potential. CMOs manage the whole marketing process from vision through customer delivery.

CIOs manage the IT services and IT deliveries using IT solutions that ensure IT logistics are premier for the organization's products, services, customers (including prospects), and employees. Measurement of premier IT service delivery, efficiency improvement, application delivery, performance improvement, business performance improvement, and market performance are included. With the CIO at the executive (CXO) table, the IT strategy services functional business areas in alignment with the organization's mission, vision, and overarching strategy and tactics.

So, why the need for the CDO?

If CIOs are at the CXO table and involving the CXO lines of business, then the CIOs are anticipating and prototyping the next generation of IT tactics. But, if the CIO is viewed merely as a cost center and not as a revenue producer, then the CIO position has been limited as a service provider to lines of business. Given a narrow definition of the CIO position, large corporations have no choice but to consider a CDO since, unfortunately, the organizations have limited the consideration of the effective use of IT. But the large corporations who have anticipated business needs and view IT as a strategic asset have CIOs who encompass CDO responsibilities at the CXO table and these CIOs are equipped to rapidly respond to competitive opportunities.

For organizations that have a proactive CIO, CMO and other CXOs that regularly communicate across all levels of need (strategic vision, tactical vision, resource constraints, priorities, etc.), this is a forward thinking organization that can effectively use IT in the digital technology world and may not need the services of a dedicated CDO.

Communications have a life cycle that permeates the organization with CXOs being astute to pick up on applicable ideas and share them with their peers. Informal and formal communications among peers can vet ideas and build salient points for broader CXO discussions. Here is where the transformational components originate. Here is where CXO partnerships on concepts and ideas grow and evolve to a potential strategy or business direction. Here is where the CMO and CIO partnership can catapult an organization into the effective use of digital technology! (See " Is a CDO Equal to a Set of Common CMO and CIO Responsibilities?” for more in-depth information on the CMO and CIO partnership.) What better way to bring forward a transformational product or service than with CXO partnerships?!

Digital technology is moving at a rapid pace and organizations must keep momentum or lose opportunities to keep or obtain customers for their products and services. The life cycle of new digital technology is very short. So swift is the digital technology movement that organizations cannot keep pace with the shift from traditional market processes to include digital technology. Already, there are firms operating in the digital world without any physical locations – Amazon comes to mind along with Netflix and a host of others. Businesses and other organizations MUST keep pace with the digital transformation that is impacting traditional business practices!

The CDO responsibilities exist whether it is a separate CDO role or part of the CMO and CIO roles. The important point is that the CXOs recognize the strategic asset they have in IT, see the immediate need for IT tactics, and appropriately assign resources to accomplish the projects to deliver digital technology as a viable operational component.

When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

"I'd like to be eight again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror. So on the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Cocoa Pops, and then took her to the Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park … the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite M & M candy. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, not my age!”

There could be several morals to this story. The more cynical individuals might conclude: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong. The more thoughtful people realize that everyone needs to change something … whether it's a different size in clothing, an increased ability to understand others, or the removal of a non-productive behavior or attitude at home or at work.

And in my opinion, everybody needs to change a few things if they want to experience more success and more happiness. As the great basketball coach John Wooden used to say, "Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

The good news is there's a process you can use to change or eliminate any non-productive behavior. Of course, in my keynote and seminar on "The Human Side of Change: How To Go From Chaos To Control,” I go into great depth on this process. (If you'd like to discuss the possibility of bringing the program to your next meeting, give me a call or read all about it by clicking here.)

In brief, to make effective change, I recommend these steps.

1. Focus on changing one problematic area.

You may have twenty different things you need to change, but start with one. Trying to tackle all twenty problems at once is like releasing twenty pinballs in a pinball machine all at the same time. You'll see a lot of activity, score a few points, but have most of your balls go nowhere but down the tube. You'll accomplish a great deal more if you're focused on one area of change rather than be distracted by several areas.

2. Focus on daily successes.

Chances are you didn't get your non-productive behavior overnight, and you won't overcome it overnight. So don't get all frustrated with yourself when you don't find yourself changing as rapidly as you would like.

Remember the old joke, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” Take heed. Break your chosen non-productive behavior into bite-size pieces. You may not have enough strength and skill to completely change a lifelong behavior all at once, but you can make a step in the right direction almost every day.

There's another old saying: "Life by the yard is hard, but by the inch, it's a cinch.” Perhaps that's why Dear Abby publishes her version of the "Just For Today” poem each year. As she says:

JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully – if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

Dear Abby is right. You can make amazing progress on any or all of your goals or non-productive behaviors if you take it day by day. And then…

3. Tap into a "Higher Power”

Studies show that within six weeks of making our New Year's Resolutions, 80% of us will break them. So obviously willpower isn't enough. If your own willpower is all you need, you would have a lot more success in your life than you already do.

So what's the answer? Tap into some other source of power. Some people find it helpful when a "Higher Power” is in their corner, cheering them on, or redirecting their course. It makes no sense to work on changing yourself, all by yourself, when there is a better way.

You might even try the prayer used by Peter Marshall, the U. S. Senate Chaplain: "Lord when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with.”

4. Focus on the positive, not the negative.

You've heard about being stuck in a rut. Well, it's literally true. Every time you think a thought, it sends an electrical impulse across your brain and that impulse creates a path. Every time you think the same thought, the path … or the rut… gets deeper and deeper and reinforces that same brain pattern.

Chances are you have some negative ruts in your mind because you've thought the same negative things over and over. You've thought about that irritating colleague or your tendency to shirk your responsibilities repeatedly. And guess what, the more you think about those things, the more they will dominate your life and your behavior. You see … what you focus on is what you move toward, and whatever has your attention has you.

So what's the answer? You change the mental channel of your mind. Every time that negative thought comes into your mind, think about something positive instead. And over time, the process works beautifully.

5. Focus on doing good, not feeling good.

If you wait until you feel like changing, you'll never change. But if you go ahead and do the right thing, your feelings will eventually catch up with you. If you don't feel loving toward your spouse, for example, begin to act loving, and the feelings will come. If you wait until you feel like it, you may wait forever.

You've probably heard someone say, "Fake it 'till you make it.” Perhaps you've read it in one of my "Tuesday Tips.” That's because it's always easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action.

Do the right thing even though you don't feel like it. Do it because it's the right thing to do. Anytime you try to change a major part of your life, it won't feel good at the start. In fact, it will feel awkward. It may even feel bad for a while because it doesn't feel normal. And sometimes we are so used to feeling abnormal that abnormal doesn't feel good.

Let's say you're a workaholic, and you decide to do the right thing whether you feel like it or not. So you go home at five, and you don't take any work home with you. The first time you try this, it's going to feel weird. The first time you try to relax, you may find that you don't know how to relax because you've worked so hard for so long. Just keep on doing the right thing, over and over, and eventually your feelings will catch up with your behavior.

6. Focus on people who help you instead of block you.

The Bible says, "Do not be fooled: Bad friends will ruin good habits.” In other words, if you know what type of people lead you astray, stay away from them. If you're struggling with negativity, don't go to lunch with your constantly complaining coworkers. Bad idea. If you're struggling with assertiveness, don't hang out with a friend who lets other people walk all over him. Don't hang out with people who mess you up.

On the other hand, you DO need to hang around people who will help you make positive changes in your life. There is power in numbers. If you fall, you'll need the kind of friends who can help you out.

7. Focus on progress, not perfection.

Some of you have heard me speak. Some of you have been to my two-day "Journey to the Extraordinary” program, and some of you have been reading my "Tuesday Tip” for a long time. You may be thinking, "I've learned a lot from you Dr. Zimmerman, but I don't seem to be changing quickly enough.” Don't worry about it. You should be seeking progress, not perfection. And if you follow these 7 steps, you'll see that life change is a process. It's a decision you make followed by a process you take.

Action:

Rank order the 7 steps for effective change in the order of your personal effectiveness. Give a #1 to the step that you are best at, #2 to the one you are second best at, and so forth. Once you've completed your ranking, decide on two things you are going to do to improve your effectiveness.

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work. Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

Click here to read that article.  

"The article of AITP is the main article cover. We are preparing a web page for the Magazine. We left the article of AITP in English, because it is a soft skill needed for all the professionals; this is the message," according to Editorial Director Héctor Gutiérrez. ASPTICS President Manuel Bernal also wrote, "Please consider our magazine as an opportunity to write any article you consider important for AITP, feel free to invite members to do it. Again thanks for your support."

As I posted on the ASPTICS Facebook page, "Felicitaciones a ASPTICS sobre la publicación de su nueva revista Sonora iT Innovación y Technologia. Tuve el placer de aportar el artículo de portada El Futuro de las Tecnologías de Información" -- Congratulations ASPTICS on the publication of your new magazine Sonora iT Innovación y Technologia. I was pleased to provide the cover story "The Future of Information Technology".

See http://www.aitp.org/news/122364/ for even more news about the start up of ASPTICS.   

Visit http://www.aitp.org/?page=SonoraIT to view their entire newsletter.

"It is almost impossible for anyone, even the most ineffective among us, to continue to choose misery after becoming aware that it is a choice.”
William Glasser, therapist and author

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

In "Life's Healing Choices”, author John Baker shares the following story. Imagine that you're in a boat and the autopilot is set for east, but you decide you want to change directions and go west. You take hold of the wheel and using all your might, you force the boat west. As long as you hold the wheel steady, the boat keeps on going west. But pretty soon, you get tired of fighting the boat's inclination and let go of the wheel. And once again, you're heading east — because that's the direction the boat is programmed to go.

As Baker notes, "That's how it is when you try to fight against your own internal autopilot. By your own willpower, you try to force new behavior. You try and you try, but pretty soon you get tired … and you let go … You revert back to the way you've always acted.”

Of course, that's a very frustrating way to live, but it characterizes the way many people live. They feel burdened, challenged, defeated, and ineffective. That's why I created my keynote and seminar on "The Payoff Principle: How To Motivate Yourself To Win Every Time In Every Situation.” To read about it in more detail, click here or call me at 1-800-621-7881.

You see … if you don't know HOW to reset your autopilot … if you don't know HOW to program yourself for the results you want … you will revert to any one of a hundred non-productive behaviors. Gossip, sarcasm, jealousy, tardiness, laziness, negativity, procrastination, or whatever you've been programmed to do. Of course, you may be wondering WHERE all your non-productive behaviors came from and WHY they continue to be in your life, getting in the way of your goals, your health, your career, your relationships, and everything else. I'll answer that question in today's "Tuesday Tip,” and then next week I'll give you a step-by-step process for eliminating those nonproductive behaviors.

So WHERE DID YOUR NON-PRODUCTIVE BEHAVIORS COME FROM? Three sources actually.

1. Your biology

You inherited some of your parents' strengths and weaknesses. You inherited some of their physical defects as well as some of their mental and emotional shortcomings. It's one of the reasons you have a "tendency” to fall into certain problems.

However, your tendencies do not give you an excuse to act inappropriately. For instance, you may have a controlling tendency, but that doesn't give you the right to order people around. You may have a laziness tendency, but that doesn't mean that it's okay for you to do less than your fair share at work. And you may have a genetic tendency toward drug addiction, but that doesn't let you off the hook when you choose to use drugs and end up addicted.

Your biology can push you towards certain non-productive behaviors, but don't ever forget … YOU are still responsible for your own behavior.

In addition to your biology giving you certain tendencies, you were also shaped by …

2. Your environment

When you were young, you observed your parents, your peers, and your teachers. You listened to what they said and you observed what they did … and all of that contributed to who you are today. For example, if your mother treated other people with rudeness when she was upset, you may be rude to others when you don't get your way. In fact much of how you behave today can be traced to what you observed in others yesterday.

Of course, your environment continues to shape you throughout your present life. If one of your bosses … who is well-liked and highly competent … works seventy hours a week, you may unconsciously conclude that you have to work seventy hours a week to keep your job or to get ahead.

As I often tell people in my seminars, choose your friends and acquaintances carefully. After all, they're a part of your environment and they will rub off on you. That's why it's no accident that the poorest performing salespeople in a company tend to hang together. That's why the most negative people in an organization tend to find each other, share lunches, and gripe in unison. And it's no accident that couples who have troubled relationships tend to socialize with other couples who have troubled relationships.

Finally, your non-productive behaviors come from…

3. Your choices

The choices you make are the MOST significant source of your character, because they are the one thing you can always do something about. You can't change your biology. Your parents are your parents, whether you like it or not. You can't go back and change the environment in which you grew up. That's passed. That's why we call it the "past.” But you can change the choices you make.

As Baker says, "You develop your hang-ups because you repeat negative choices. And if you choose to do something long enough, it becomes a habit. Once it becomes a habit, you're stuck.”

When you make a choice to "cut a few corners at work” … the first time … you never even think about the possibility of ending up as a person who does just enough to get by. When you make the choice to tell a "little white lie” to cover your behind, you never even think about the possibility of becoming an untrustworthy person overall.

Bottom line, your choices may have been influenced by your biology or your circumstances, but ultimately YOU are responsible for the choices you make.

The problem is most people find it very difficult to shake off their non-productive behaviors. Even though they know that certain behaviors don't work, they keep on doing them.

WHY IS THAT? Again there are three reasons.

1. Longevity

Simply put, it's human nature to keep on doing what you've always done. You just "naturally” cling to what's familiar, even when the familiar things do not work. It's like an old pair of shoes. There may be holes in the soles and they allow your feet to get wet, but you hang on to them because you're used to them and you feel comfortable in them.

2. Confusion

Many people confuse their non-productive behaviors with their identities. Maybe you do too. You may say, "That's just the way I am … or … It's just like me to be a workaholic or a worrier.” After a while, your words and thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you say "I'm always nervous when I give a speech,” guess what's going to happen the next time you give a speech? You're going to be nervous.

Don't confuse who you are with a few problems you have.

3. Payoff

We have a hard time letting go of the non-productive areas in our lives because each one of them has a very real payoff. Your yelling may pay off in getting someone's attention. Your excuse-making may pay off in letting you off the hook instead of taking responsibility for making the changes you need to make. If you keep on repeating a negative behavior, you can be sure there's a payoff. The payoff may be self-destructive, but it brings you some sort of perceived benefit.

As you look at yourself, your life, your work, and your relationships, I'm sure you can see several things you would like to change. But some of the things you want to change aren't changing because your autopilot is heading you in the wrong direction. That's the bad news.

The good news is you CAN change your autopilot. You can reprogram yourself. As noted in "Beautiful Darkness”, author Kami Garcia says, "We don't get to choose what is true. We only get to choose what we do about it.” I'll show you how to do that in the next issue of the "Tuesday Tip.”

Action:

List two non-productive behaviors you have. How have you allowed them to continue? Perhaps by excusing them with a reference to your biology or environment. What better choices do you need to make?

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work. Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter.

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

"If you aren't serving the customer you better be serving someone who is.”

Karl Albrecht, author

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

When you look around your company or the places where you do business … would you say that customer service has gotten better, stayed about the same, or gotten worse in the last few years? Most people report that it has gotten worse. In fact, the research from Everson Consulting indicates that service levels have stayed about the same over the past many years. What has changed is the customers' "expectations”. Customers expect more than ever.

To manage, satisfy, and even delight your customer expectations, my colleague Terry Everson recommends the 4 P's. Let me explain them and put my own twist on each of them.

1. Professional

Your look, your feel, your mood, your manner, your words, your office. As Terry would say, "They all speak volumes.” What are you "telling” your customers?

That you're a true professional or just another hustler trying to make a buck?

John Milne, a customer service expert in Australia, gave one example … an all-too-common example of unprofessional service. Milne told me about Barry, an award winning franchise owner in an Australian city, who went to a specialty shop to purchase some materials for his four franchises. Although there were eight staff in the shop and few other customers, Barry could not find anyone to welcome and serve him. Amazingly everyone was pre-occupied, one filing, one texting, and two chatting. After a few minutes he left, went to a competitor's shop and spent several hundred dollars. The ugly thing is not one employee realized the loss to the business that day and every day in the future … the loss in revenue and reputation.

To help you come across professionally, take advantage of my two-for-one special. When you purchase a copy of my book on "The Service Payoff: How Customer Service Champions Outserve And Outlast The Competition,” I'll give you a second copy at no cost. Get your two-for-one special by clicking here.

2. Positive

No matter how good or bad a customer might be, you still control you … yourself … and your attitude. You can be positive with any customer, even if the customer is wrong. And more often than not, your positive attitude will rub off on the customer making him or her easier to deal with.

When appropriate, even humor can be effective. It can catch a customer's attention, put a smile on his face, and help him remember you for a long time after your interaction.

Burma Shave, the men's shaving cream, mastered that technique back in the 1930′s, 40′s, and 50′s. Before there were interstate highways, when everyone drove the old two-lane roads, Burma Shave signs were posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing one line of a four-line couplet……and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave. The signs not only promoted the product but also made a positive impression on people as they urged people to drive safely.

For those of you too young to remember the signs, here are a few examples of the actual signs:

Don't stick your elbow
Out so far
It may go home
In another car.
BURMA SHAVE

Trains don't wander
All over the map
‘Cause nobody sits
In the engineer's lap.
BURMA SHAVE

Don't lose your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it.
BURMA SHAVE

Drove too long
Driver snoozing
What happened next
Is not amusing.
BURMA SHAVE

Brother Speeder
Let's rehearse
All together
Good morning, nurse.
BURMA SHAVE

Cautious rider
To her reckless dear
Let's have less bull
And a little more steer.
BURMA SHAVE

Speed was high
Weather was not
Tires were thin
X marks the spot.
BURMA SHAVE

The midnight ride
Of Paul for beer
Led to a warmer
Hemisphere.
BURMA SHAVE

Around the curve
Lickety-split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it?
BURMA SHAVE

No matter the price
No matter how new
The best safety device
In the car is you.
BURMA SHAVE

A guy who drives
A car wide open
Is not thinkin'
He's just hopin'.
BURMA SHAVE

At intersections
Look each way
A harp sounds nice
But it's hard to play.
BURMA SHAVE

The one who drives
When he's been drinking
Depends on you
To do his thinking.
BURMA SHAVE

Car in a ditch
Driver in tree
The moon was full
And so was he.
BURMA SHAVE

Passing school zone
Take it slow
Let our little
Shavers grow.
BURMA SHAVE

How could you not feel positive about a company that puts up signs like that? They not only entertain you but educate you … and chances are, gain a permanent place in your memory.

3. Personal

You need to show the customer that he or she isn't just another impersonal number. You need to make your customer FEEL like he or she is the most important person in the world to you … at the moment you're serving him or her.

Of course, if you're in the customer service business, you know that isn't always easy to do … especially when many companies are expecting fewer people to do more work. After a certain point, the "lean and mean” philosophy or "do more with less” gets to be a bit ridiculous.

Milne talked about that when he explained John's situation when he visited one of Australia's leading department stores to buy a new pair of shoes. John looked far and wide but couldn't find a salesperson to help him. So John called out, "Hello, anyone home?” An experienced salesman appeared in the distance with the promise of service in his eye and saved the day. He found the perfect shoes and shyly explained that staff cutbacks had gone so far that twelve people had been reduced to two. Nonetheless, during their time together, the salesperson made John feel like he was extremely important to him.

You can do the same thing. Instead of being a negative, whining customer service rep who thinks, "Oh no, there comes another customer, just when it's time for our break.” you can be the service rep who makes every interaction with a customer FEEL personal.

4. Present

As much as you might pride yourself on being a multi-tasker, the customer can sense if you're really "present” or have your head somewhere else. Simply put, you cannot be reading your e-mail while talking to a customer on the phone, and you cannot be thinking about your upcoming date with an exciting new man or woman while interacting with your customer. You've got to be "present” in mind and body.

I had to learn that lesson the hard way. When one of my kids asked me if we could watch a Veggie Tale video before church one Sunday, I said sure. I would be glad to watch the movie with her. She got all excited, put in the DVD, came back and sat on my lap. And then with all the innocence of a child she asked me, "But Daddy, can you watch the movie with me with your eyes open?”

My "customer” realized that even though I was "with” her, I wasn't "present.” And your customers can tell the difference as well.

You can't control your customer, but when you implement these 4 P's of extraordinary customer service, you'll create satisfied customers … and perhaps delighted and loyal customers as well most of the time.

Action:

Rank order the four P's of customer service in your department from one to four, with one being the best. Which item ranked # four? What are you going to do about it?

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work. To learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly Internet newsletter, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

However on this date in 2013 something new will be celebrated. Many of the people in the Los Angeles area will spend that date at the California Science Center, the home of the Space Shuttle Endeavor.

The reason many of your fellow AITP members will be at the Science center has to do with a worthy cause of helping and mentoring young women to pursue careers in Science, Technology, Engineering & Math, or STEM.

A group called STEM Advantage is raising money and has put their first annual fundraiser together to finance the program's scholarship and honor the students selected for the STEM Advantage program. Those in attendance will get a close up view of the Space Shuttle Endeavor, and take photos to remember this event.

Stem Advantage is conceived by Information Technology professionals, and has solicited members of several groups. This is a prime example of how organizations can work together for a worthy cause. The people who run this group come from AITP, from SIM and from the UCLA IS Associates, and all work harmoniously toward a common goal.

Additionally, several firms have lent their support toward helping young women enter the STEM areas. They are Toyota Motors, Toyota Financial Services, Spacex, DirectV, Fox Studios, Counter Point Systems, Watson Land Company and Cognizant. Cal State Dominguez Hills has taken the lead in where the Internships will obtain their training.

"Coaching is a profession of love. You can't coach people unless you love them. I never won a game. They did.”
Eddie Robinson, College Football Hall of Fame

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

If you paid someone $30 an hour to do a job, and he or she gave back only $10 of effort per hour, what would you call that?

From my point of view, I would call it not only sad and unprofitable, but I would also call it immoral cheating and stealing … which it certainly is, on the employee's part. But those words don't tell the whole story. When an employee is not performing to his or her peak capacity, it almost always has something to do with the supervisor, manager, or senior leader.

In a 2012 study of 1500 workers between the ages of 18 and 61, nearly half or 49% who said they were "satisfied” with their direct manager also felt "engaged” in the workplace. In other words, they gave it their all. They did their best to do their best.

However, of those workers who said they were "very dissatisfied” with the boss. 80% of them reported feeling "disengaged” at work. They did just enough to get by and just enough to keep out of trouble. You could say they were leeches on the company, the company profits, the company morale, and all of their teammates.

Just be careful of pointing fingers. It would be easy to conclude that these "disengaged” workers were the cause of so many of the problems at work. But don't forget, these employees were "disengaged” because of some things the supervisors, managers, and leaders did or did not do.

In that 2012 study conducted by Dale Carnegie Training, Chief Operating Officer David Fagiano concluded, "Engagement increases dramatically with four variables: enthusiasm, confidence, empowerment, and inspiration. If as a supervisor you can instill those, your employees can really outperform for you.”

Indeed, that is the essence of the second day of my "Journey to the Extraordinary” program. It's all about HOW you get the best out of other people … whether that be your employees, your coworkers, your customers, and even your friends and family. As Donna McNeely, Senior Vice President at the Investment Centers of America, said, "So much of what Dr. Zimmerman teaches at the ‘Journey' is common sense but is not commonly applied. Before the ‘Journey,' I had no idea HOW to articulate and implement the mechanics. Now I do, and it works like magic.”

If you would like to more fully engage the people at work and at home, I'll show you exactly HOW to do that at the "Journey” coming to Boston on May 2-3, 2013. Register before April 10th and you qualify for a $200 to $3000 Early-Bird Discount.

To those of you consider yourselves to be "old school” leaders, to those of you think all this emphasis on the soft skills is a huge waste of time, let me warn you. If you don't learn to engage your people and instill these four emotions, you'll end up with a company that pays its workers just enough so they won't quit, and you'll end up with workers who do just enough so they won't get fired. And let me tell you, you don't want that.

To get the best out of other people, you have to focus on more than getting the job done. No! No! No! That's merely the end result. To get to your desired end result, you must FIRST engage your people … which means you've got instill these four emotions.

First, to get the best out of other people, you must generate…

1. Enthusiasm

It's true in many aspects of life, including work, home, and even sports. During a rocky 2009 season, Mark Mangino, the head football coach at the University of Kansas, was the target of lots of negativity and internal allegations. And he was ultimately fired at the end of the season.

During a tough stretch of time where he was taking a media-beating toward the end of the season, he was asked if he had a bad week. He replied, "Let me tell you something that's really important that's on my mind. I have a player, D.J. Marshall, who's in Tulsa, Oklahoma, in a cancer center. He just started his chemotherapy this week. That's called a bad week. I've had a great week.”

That's putting things in perspective. That's keeping the enthusiasm contagiously alive. And if you as a leader can model enthusiasm, there's a good chance your fellow teammates will catch the same spirit.

Joe Torre, a 9-time All Star baseball player, commented on that. He said, "During my eight years as a player with the Braves, I was fortunate to hit behind baseball's all-time home-run king Hank Aaron. One day Hank and I were talking about batting slumps when he made a comment that has stayed with me ever since. ‘Each at-bat is a new day.' I'd take it even further. We don't just have the opportunity to start fresh each day. We have the opportunity to start fresh each moment. In baseball, a hitter mired in a slump can belt a home run on any pitch.”

Once you've got the enthusiasm going, you need to instill…

2. Confidence

During his 29-year tenure with the Dallas Cowboys, Tom Landry won 5 NFC titles and 2 Super Bowls, and twice he was named the NFL Coach of the Year. So you can be sure he knew a great deal about engaging his team and turning them into winners time after time.

One of his winning secrets had to do with confidence. He said, "Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence. They need to see how you react. If you're in control, they're in control.”

You also build confidence in people by believing in them. In fact your confidence in them often precedes their own self-confidence, but once they grasp that confidence, great results follow.

Lou Holtz, the great football coach at the College of William and Mary, Arkansas, Minnesota, North Carolina, and Notre Dame, proved that time and again. He says, "People perform to the level expected of them. Because I demanded nothing short of greatness, the players elevated their performance far beyond anyone's expectations.”

When you've got your people filled with confidence, then it's time for…

3. Empowerment

Many leaders don't fully understand the meaning of empowerment. Neither do many parents for that matter. They tend to be too strict or too lenient. And extremes of either sort can be deadly to leaders and killers of engagement.

By contrast, effective leaders know how to motivate the best in others. They know when it is time to "loosen up” or "tighten down.” They know when it's okay to make the decisions and when it's okay to empower others to make the decisions.

Trevor Adcock, a leader at Toyota-UK , learned that when he attended my "Journey to the Extraordinary” program in Manchester, England. He wrote, "From your program and my work with Toyota, I learned that I should treat my employees as if they were my children. And if you actually think about it and practice that, you behave very differently toward them. As you well know, you would never let your children fail. So why would you ever let an employee fail? You wouldn't. You learn to empower them to take on as much responsibility as they can handle.”

Join me at the next "Journey to the Extraordinary” experience coming to Boston on May 2-3, 2013, to become a more effective person and more effective leader, and to qualify for your $200 to $3000 Early-Bird Discount by registering before April 10th.

Homer Rice, who was the head coach at the University of Cincinnati and several other schools, understood that. He taught, "You can motivate by fear, and you can motivate by reward, but both those methods are only temporary. The only lasting thing is self-motivation.”

Empower your people to make a decision and the engagement factor in your organization will go through the roof.

Finally, with enthusiasm, confidence, and empowerment working for you, you move on to …

4. Inspiration

At some level, everybody wants to make a difference. As author and Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote, "Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will at least be a little different for our passing through it.”

Leaders who truly engage their teammates know about this inspiring power of purpose. Fred Smith, the founder of Federal Express, says, "You have to communicate with your workers and make sure they understand that what they're doing means something. We still tell our employees what we always told them: ‘You're delivering the most important commerce in the history of the world. You're not delivering sand and gravel. You're delivering someone's pacemaker, chemotherapy treatment for cancer drugs, the part that keeps the F-18s flying, or the legal brief that decides the case.”

Pia Sundhage, the head coach of the US women's national soccer team that won two Olympic gold medals, said it beautifully. She said, "The name on the front of the jersey is much more important than the name on the back.” In other words, inspiration that leads to engagement is so much bigger than personal recognition. It also involves an everybody-wins factor.

The research is in. When employees are dissatisfied with their bosses, they will be disengaged and your company will suffer. But when you engage your people by spending some of your time and energy focused on these four key emotions, everybody wins.

Action:

Of the four emotions (enthusiasm, confidence, empowerment, and inspiration), which one are you best at instilling in others? How can you teach that to others? And which of the four emotions do you need to get better at instilling in others?

To Your Success,

Dr. Alan Zimmerman

About the author:

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people's lives and the companies where they work. Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly internet newsletter.

Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com.

"Positive anything is better than negative nothing.”
Elbert Hubbard, 19th century author

Dr. Alan Zimmerman’s Personal Commentary:

Robert brought flowers to his departed wife’s grave once a week. On one such visit, he heard painful sobs from a nearby plot and was touched by the sight of a man crying unabashedly while clutching a tombstone saying, "Why? Why did you have to die? Why?”

Approaching carefully, Robert told the man, "Hello, you must love your departed one very very much. Was she your wife?”

The man looked up with tears in his eyes and replied, "No! My wife’s first husband!”

Obviously, the sobbing man was gripped in negativity rather than grief. And maybe you seem to be stuck in a difficult situation with a negative attitude. Well, you’ve got to STOP it. As my mentor Zig Ziglar used to say, "Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”

And yet, you may be so mired in negativity that you can’t even imagine stopping your negative thoughts "cold turkey.” I understand that. After all, if you can’t go 24 hours without alcohol, you’re addicted to alcohol. If you can’t go 24 hours without a cigarette, you’re addicted to nicotine. And if you can’t go 24 hours without a negative thought, you’re addicted to negative thinking.

So I would suggest you take it easy, but take these steps.

1. Start by noticing when you are thinking negatively.

You don’t have to do anything about it … yet. Just recognize what’s going on inside you.

2. Pause before you react.

When you notice yourself getting upset about something, tell yourself, "I’m going to wait two minutes before I react. I’m going to think about something else that is more uplifting for two minutes.” Eventually you can work yourself up to 3, 4, or 5 minutes … putting some space between your automatic reaction and your postponed response. You’re starting to take control of your attitude.

3. Declare some "negative-free zones” throughout the day.

It’s what authors John-Roger and Peter McWilliams advise. And I agree. Plan out several two-minute segments throughout your day in which you will not allow one negative thought to pass through your mind. And if a negative thought does slip in, immediately replace it with a focus on something positive.

4. Pick minor areas where you will no longer allow yourself to think about … negatively.

You could start with something as tiny as the disarray you see in someone’s office. Start telling yourself, "No matter how unprofessional her office appears, I refuse to get upset about it. If she’s getting her work done and pleasing the customers, it’s none of my business.”

Bob Newhart, the comedian, applied this technique to something tiny in his life … with modest success. He doesn’t like country music, so instead of getting upset about it, he said, "I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down!’”

Gradually expand your list until it includes all the nonessential … but sometimes irritating … parts of your life that could take you down the road of negativity.

5. Increase the duration of your "negative-free zones.”

Add a minute each day to your positive thinking periods. Eventually, you’ll arrive at the "tipping point” where your mind naturally and automatically begins to think more positively, more frequently, for longer periods of time.

Of course, the cynics wonder if all this emphasis on the positive isn’t a waste of time. Not at all. The positive response is almost always the better response. As one person noted, "Although at the moment they may be equal in their lack of a real answer, the man who replies ‘I’ll find out’ is much more valuable to his employer, his neighbor, and to himself than the man who replies ‘I don’t know.’”

6. Add more central areas of your life where you refuse to think negatively.

You may decide that you’ll do no more negative thinking about a particular relationship and then extend it to all relationships. Over time, add other key areas of your life … such as work, business, money, health, or whatever … where you refuse to fret about, worry over, or get all angry about.

That doesn’t’ mean that you live and work in a state of denial and ignorant bliss. That would be stupid. But instead of wasting your time on negative thinking, you switch over to positive dismissal and positive action. In other words, some things aren’t worth your time to even think about while others things are important to do something about.

You see … everyone dies but not everyone lives. You can live SO MUCH better if you eliminate the negative and accentuate the positive.

Action:

Select five, two-minute periods that you will set aside each day for positive thinking only.

To Your Success,

Dr. Alan Zimmerman

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman is focused on "transforming the people side of business.” His keynotes and seminars are noted for high content, high energy, and high involvement that transform people’s lives and the companies where they work. Click here to learn more about his programs and products, or to receive a free subscription to his weekly internet newsletter.

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Personal Commentary:

If you were asked to write down your secrets for others to see, what would you write down? That was the question asked by the Counseling Center at the University of Minnesota--Crookston where I was speaking a few weeks ago. In fact, they've dedicated a whole wall where students and passerbys can post their secrets. I found them fascinating, amusing, and sometimes painful.

There were dozens of "secret" cards on the wall. I wrote down a few of them. Read through them and notice the common thread that runs through so many of them. One person wrote, "I am scared on how my life is going to turn out." Other comments included:
"It's been 13 years since my parents divorced, yet every day I blame myself."
"I have a deep hatred for pink."
"I have an outie belly button and feel really self-conscious about it."
"Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in anywhere and that I am not wanted."
"Dove and pigeon taste just like chicken."
"Sometimes I miss the days where I would cut and carve my skin."
"I am afraid of clowns."
"The day my Mom dies, I don't think I'll cry."
"My mother is a prescription drug addict."
"Even though I'm in a relationship and have friends, I still feel alone."

What struck me is the fact that so many of the "secrets" had something to do with relationships, and most of their relationship comments were negative. That's sad.

You see ... most people in our society are trained to do a job of some sort, but almost no one is ever taught how to build good, healthy, productive relationships with the people around them. And that's even more sad. But it doesn't have to be that way. That's why one of my most requested keynotes and seminars is on "The Partnership Payoff: 7 Keys To Better Relationships And Greater Teamwork."

Check it out at DrZimmerman.com

By contrast, people often wonder what actually causes an unhealthy relationship or an unproductive team. Of course, there are several things. That's why I offer programs that go into much more detail, but you can be certain that these are some of the causes.

And I'll tell you what ... you absolutely MUST NOT DO or CANNOT ALLOW if you expect to have a team or even a personal relationship work well. Before I give you those, please excuse the brief announcement below. I'm getting dozens of people send me e-mails asking about the logistical details of my "Journey to the Extraordinary" program coming to Boston on May 2-3, 2013.

So I'll answer those questions here, but MAKE SURE you continue to read about the key Relationship Busters after this announcement.

Frequently Asked Questions about Dr. Zimmerman's
"Journey to the Extraordinary" Program

UPCOMING DATES and TIMES:

Boston on May 2-3, 2013 (At the Hilton Logan Boston Airport. You can walk right from your plane to your room.)
Program goes from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. on May 2. Program goes from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. on May 3.

Last "Journey" of 2013. Not scheduled yet. Most likely October in the Midwest.

Register Here or call Aaron at 1-800-621-7881.

COST/SPECIALS/CREDITS

Your investment is $1297 per person. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY THAT MUCH -- if you get on the ball. You can save $300 if you sign up now and get one of the last Early-Early-Bird special discounts and pay only $997.

The entire program and your expenses may be tax deductible as educational expenses. Check with your accountant.

If you need Continuing Education Units, the "Journey" qualifies as 16 hours of training for many professions. Check with your own association. You will be given a certificate of completion at the end the "Journey."

MULTIPLE ATTENDEE DISCOUNT:

If 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 more people ... from the same organization ... attend a JOURNEY together, overall tuition drops by as much as $3000.

EASY PAYMENT PLAN

Some of the people who attend Dr. Zimmerman's Journey program are sent by their employers ... who pay the tuition. Other people pay their own way. But not everyone has the same resources.

So if you'd like to attend the Journey ... but would prefer a four-month payment schedule ... instead of paying the entire tuition at once ... that option is available. Your credit card can be billed in four easy, equal, monthly installments.

GUARANTEE

You won't be disappointed with the Journey program. In fact, you'll be thrilled with what you learn and the results you get. It will be one of the best investments you will ever make in yourself, in your future, in your career, and in your relationships.

But if you are not totally 100% satisfied with the program, I'll give you your money back ... immediately ... with no hassles and no hard feelings whatsoever.

FREE LEARNING TOOLS:

Every attendee receives...
Pre-program consultation (valued at $240)
JOURNEY 160+ page manual (valued at $179.95)
Transformation tele-seminar CD (valued at $39.95)
10-week, post-JOURNEY reinforcement program (valued at $227)
One-on-one coaching from Dr. Zimmerman (valued at $649)

TO SIGN UP:

Register Here or call Aaron at 1-800-621-7881.

Getting back to the relationship busters, some of the most destructive ones are the following.

1. A person who is an energy sucker instead of an energy
contributor.

I always tell my audiences that everyone in the company makes it a better or poorer place to work. No one is a neutral. You either add or subtract from the overall energy and effectiveness of any team, organization, or family you belong to.

If you've got an energy sucker in the mix, he/she will obviously drain some of the lifeblood out of the relationship. Mira Kirshenbaum writes about that in her book, "Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay." She says 70% of our total energy comes from the emotional aspects of life. It's the kind of energy that manifests itself as hope, resilience, passion, fun, and enthusiasm. The other 30% of our energy comes from the physical aspects of life and it gradually runs down as we get older.

The good news is ... emotional energy is unlimited and can even be increased ... if you have the relational skills you need. And even if you don't have all the skills you need right now, Kirshenbaum says the least you can do is NOT give your precious emotional energy to people who continually drain you.

Lori Jonason, manager of Student Accounting and Transportation Services at the award-winning Minnetonka School District, talked about one of her life-changing, career-enhancing take-aways when she attended my "Journey to the Extraordinary" program. She says, "Without a doubt, I learned how to work with others and bring them along. On top of all that, I left the program fully affirmed as an individual and totally filled with leadership skills that I'm using to encourage others to live up to their potential as well."

Right now, to all of you reading this "Tuesday Tip," I invite you to attend my "Journey" program coming to Boston on May 2-3, 2013. There's still time to get in on the Early, Early-Bird special pricing and even cheaper prices when you register as a group.

Register Here

2. A person who is much too self-centered.

Put a bunch of people like that together at work and you may have a group, a department, a district, or a region, but you will NOT have a team. Put two people like that together in a marriage and sooner or later, the only thing those two people will have in common is the fact they happened to get married on the same day.

People who are too selfish, too self-centered, too egocentric, and too me-me-me oriented are mostly takers. They're not givers; so no wonder they become a major source of relationship dysfunction or destruction.

Some of those people ... and I'm sure you can name several ... will even step on others to get ahead. Oh, you might call them "ambitious," if you're kind, but in truth they're nothing more than "greedy."

Unfortunately, our society sometimes rewards these overly ambitious people. Our society revels in success stories. The rags to riches, Horatio Alger stories are inspirational for all of us. But being too ambitious is almost seen as a negative by your coworkers ... if you're on a team ... and by your followers ... if you're the leader.

Remember, there are two ways to get to the top. First, you can get there by climbing over other people ... which almost always backfires for almost everyone concerned. Or you can get to the top by being lifted up by other people. In other words, your behavior is so likeable, respectable, and competent that people just naturally want you to lead so they can follow.

Think of any great leader that you would gladly follow. I would guess that the leaders who come to mind are "servant leaders." In other words, instead of sitting at the top of the organizational pyramid and barking out orders, they're out front supporting everyone else so they can do their very best in their various jobs.

3. A person who is loose lipped.

You've all heard the TV commercial that says, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." In a similar sense, "The tongue is dangerous thing to use." In fact, I would wager that more wars have started, more companies have failed, and more relationships have ended because ... in part ... some bad, wrong, ugly, hurtful, negative, disrespectful, and inappropriate things have been said. Some of those things might have been uttered out of pure innocent ignorance, others out of intentional malice, and still others out of habitual gossip and jumping-to-conclusion behaviors.

NONE of it works ... ever. So STOP it! I don't care how right you are, how justified you feel, or how good it feels to say certain things, relationships are improved by the right words said the right way, even if those words are sometimes confrontational. It's one more thing I teach in my two-day program, the "Journey to the Extraordinary" coming to Boston on May 2-3, 2013.

It's one of the many take-aways Becky Moyer, the Facilities Manager at Purdue University, got from her "Journey" attendance. She writes, "I learned how to work with difficult people and more importantly how to get them on board and all working toward a common goal. That was HUGE. So I have to say GREAT program. It gave me the people skills for dealing with situations with my family, friends, and my coworkers. And it gave me the tools to live a more positive and rewarding life. What could be more important?"

Save money and get signed up now for the May 2-3, 2013 "Journey to the Extraordinary" in Boston.

Register Here

In terms of stopping the loose lipped people who destroy relationships and reputations, I was amused by the way Frank handled it, although I am not necessarily recommending his approach.

You see ... Mildred was the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of everyone else's morals. So she kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several of the church members did not approve of her gossiping behavior, but they feared her enough to maintain their silence.

One day, however, Mildred made a mistake when she accused Frank, a new church member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing!

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He simply said nothing.

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home... and left it there all night.

That may or may not have gotten the gossiper to shut up. I simply recommend asking yourself three questions before you talk about someone else ... or ask somebody else these three questions before they start talking about someone else. The questions are: 1) Is it true? 2) Is it necessary? 3) Is it kind? If you can answer all three questions with "yes," then it's okay to share. It won't be harmful gossip.

Finally, a relationship will bust if ...

4. A person is unsafe to be around.

You feel unsafe emotionally, physically, spiritually, or any other way. The other person may come on strong and quickly, trying to force a relationship too quickly, and once a relationship is formed, he easily becomes jealous.

Or she may try to "own" you as "her" friend and try to isolate you from others. You don't feel emotionally safe. Healthy people don't do that. They encourage each other to have friends outside your relationship or outside your team.

Some people have tempers that scare you. Just for the record, if you're in a long-term relationship, angry, controlling behavior isn't likely to change ... and usually gets worse with time ... unless some re-education is sought and applied. So be careful when you're standing next to an exploding person. His/her explosion could destroy your peace of mind, scatter your professional composure, and reduce your productivity. Again, you don't feel safe.

Still other people think it's okay to correct you in front of other people. They may even use sarcasm ... which comes from the Greek word "sarcasmos" which refers to tearing the flesh off of someone's body. Again, it's never acceptable and always destructive of relationships. My friend Steve Saffron talks about such behavior when he says "Ridicule is playing with someone else's pain without their permission."

None of these four things have to happen, however, if you choose your relationships carefully, and learn to take charge of yourself, the situation, and the other person.

Action:

Which of the four relationship busters noted above gives you the greatest difficulty? What are you going to do about it? Having a plan in mind before it happens is always a good idea.

"Transforming the people side of business ... to help you get the payoffs you want and need"

Dr. Alan Zimmerman
Tel: 800-621-7881
E-mail: Alan@DrZimmerman.com